"It's a program that gives us a chance to come out to the universities and maybe even the high schools and give the students an idea of what an IRS agent does," said Toni Weirauch, the special agent in charge.[More]We know what you do, Toni.
Tell me--were your agents armed? Because:
The University is unwilling to allow even the mere presence of dangerous weapons. While some objects are clearly dangerous, what is used dangerously may also be considered a weapon.Which I guess means everyone there must be naked and manacled to the wall of a padded room.
Good thing I don't see anything in the Cho Empowerment Policy about the fake weapons given to the little proto-brownshirts, and, of course, note the exemption for elite and trustworthy "Only Ones."
How fittingly Orwellian that you include a forced disarmament mandate as Article 22 under your student "Bill of Rights," though. I'd say the fed gov alphabet agencies ought to be able to satisfy their JBT trainee needs nicely from the stock you're raising.
5 comments:
"Weirauch entered the classroom, announced to the fourth-graders, "Now THIS is what you get to do when you join us!", then proceeded to pistol whip the teacher, flexi-cuff all of the students, seize their personal belonging, turn all cell phones over to Homeland Security agents in the hallway, rifle the contents of the desks and turn the students' pockets inside out.
"Three were found to have contraband drugs ( asthma inhalers and an antibiotic) so they were strip searched in front of the other terrified children. One Homeland Security agent detected a pet hamster named Mister Whiskers in a large cage, and so Special Animal Agent Donna Schlusser of the BAT-FU was called in to stomp the small mammal to death.
"Haven't had that much fun since Lon Whore-a-hootchie and I set fire to the Lamplugh family's old blind cat!", she rasped.
"The children were eventually released and given brochures for each of the government agencies represented, and the teacher, Miis Bozemon, is expected to emerge from her coma soon and make a nearly full recovery."
Reporting for The Rest of The Story -
George Suckhole Sorros
If the Fourth Grade "What We Do At Work" project is reviewed favorably by other media, then the next stage of visiting schools will progress the the ninth-grade class.
Added Special Animal Agent Donna Schlusser,
"Yeah, I can't wait to do body-cavity searches on those little honeys after they get a chance to grow, here and there, if you know what I mean."
Laughing here. Of course you almost made me choke to death first.
Well, Dave, we aim to please, over here at Sipsey Street Suburbs. Actually, my evil twin, J3, toned down some of the article as I had originally written it. I HAD included a tasteful interlude in which Janet Reno, in drag as James Cagney, seduced Helen Thomas as a Center for Disease Control Career Day Show & Tell for the sixth graders. But he felt it was a bit over the top, sinse the thought caused him to projectile vomit.
-e +id
Hey, outside of Oceana, every day is Citizen's Day--and our skulls-full-of-mush get to try the steel variety, not the red plastic variety.
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