You limited horizons barkeeps just don't get it, do you? [Read]
That's OK by me if your ability to conduct your business as you see fit is progressively eroded. Too bad for you that instead of partnering with freedom advocates, and maybe learning something, you're determined to impose limitations on them instead.
It's Friday. That means after I grill my steaks (thanks for the Cajun spices, Mr. G!) it's the enclosed porch for me, with maybe about two--hell, make it three-- fingers of the good stuff (at a fraction of what you'd charge), a nice maduro (with nobody telling me I can't light up), genuine companionship, and unfettered access to whatever I decide is appropriate in terms of personal security measures.
What do I need you for again?
On the bright side, maybe you can all become cop hangouts.
Friday, December 10, 2010
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5 comments:
Maybe he should cease distributing mood altering substances to his patrons as it could lead to problems. Oh...and don't serve food because somebody might not like it and become angry at the waitstaff/cooks. Yeah. When people enter, they should be directed to their own solo cubicle and placed in straight jackets. That will eliminate any interpersonal contact which could lead to arguments and prevent them from possibly committing suicide. The cubicles should be soundproofed to impose sensory deprivation so that there is no possibility that outside stimuli might cause the patrons to behave in an unpredictable manner. Maybe an IV of muscle relaxers to paralyze them...or a lobotomy to remove all those pesky independent thoughts.
Really...he owes it to his patrons to provide a completely risk-free environment.
Bar Owners for Prohibition.
"Buck’s Sports Bar ... doesn’t even use glass beer mugs — opting for plastic instead — because glass shards could be used as a weapon."
[Homer Simpson voice] "Mmmmm. Plaaastic!"
Never saw a plastic whiskey bottle behind a bar, though...
Troughs would be safer. And appropriate for anyone willing to continue going where they are trusted less than cud-chewing milk animals.
I like a good stout pewter tankard, myself.
Do they dare have any chairs on the premises? Ullae sellae in taberna...
Sports Bar, huh? Hockey, basebrawl, footbrawl, sock-er, thugby, boxing. No violence there. Maybe all patrons are ALLOWED to watch is tapes of the Winter Olympics. Curling, bobsled. Zzzz.
The ringleader of this philosophy here, the Richbrau brewpub, went out of business years ago. I don't know; maybe the bigger, meaner customers kept beating up the little ones. Or maybe people just got tired of paying to be insulted.
Good.
The bar fights around here tend to be pretty friendly, or at least well monitored by the other patrons.
You know... somebody holds the coats and another guy holds the guns. Now someone has to watch the door. Darn cops are starting to be a nuisance.
I just shake my head at all the people who smirk how they righteously "leave the guns behind" - or locked up - if they are going to take a drink.
Good grief... no self control whatsoever?
So...drunken police officers are better at driving vehicles or handling weapons than you or me?
It must be great to think that all those other than police officers are untermensch.
I DO like the trough idea - not THAT is community!
But no guns? OK. Could I open carry my Hell's Belle bowie with me?
As Uncle Walter would say, sheee-it! Pad the walls and keep the TVs all showing reruns of Donahue, Oprah and Tyra; serve whiskey flavored kool-aid does with saltpeter to avoid those base urges, and replace any posters of sporting events with autographed pix of Barney Frank, Rosie O'Donell and Barbara Walters.
Then hang the 'Out of Business' sign out front.
Schmucks.
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