We're the Only Ones Rifled Enough

The officer came out in the morning and found the back window had been smashed in an Explorer SUV. He looked in the vehicle, found a lot of stuff was missing, including a patrol rifle and shotgun,” the chief said. [More]

"Patrol rifle"?

So it didn't become a "weapon of war" suitable only for killing as many people as possible until after the "Only One" left it inadequately secured?

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones "Is This Some Kind of Bust?" Enough

An embarrassed Sheriff Gary Painter fired one Midland County deputy and suspended three others without pay after a scantily dressed waitress holding a rifle posed for photographs on the hood of a patrol vehicle. [More]

Now hold the damn phone here a second--the "Only Ones" magical "patrol rifle" juju is so powerful that one given to a ("Twin Peaks"!) pseudo-Hooters gal by DUI-eligible boobs with badges is a mere "rifle", but if you or I have one while we're stone cold sober it would instantly become a "semiautomatic mass killing machine"...?

[Via Matt S]

We're the Only Ones Arming Enough

Officials said a patrol rifle was stolen from the trunk of an off-duty officer’s Petersburg police patrol vehicle... [More]

Thank goodness-- for a moment there I feared a non-"Only One" might have gotten his hands on a "weapon of war"...

[Via Mack H]

We're the Only Ones Patrolling Enough

The Vermont State Police has adopted the SIG Sauer M400 Pro Rifle as the official patrol rifle of the Vermont State Troopers. [More]

As opposed to "assault weapons of war" designed only to kill as many people as quickly as possible when you or I have them.

Oh, but all police are trained!

Really? Here's something dolts who kneejerk say that are never prepared to answer:

How many rounds per year do they need to fire to qualify? With what weapons?At how many distances? At what accuracy percentage? How many retries do they get should they fail to meet minimum scores?

And how many of us does that sound like a weekend to?

[Via Michael G]

Meanwhile, Across the Pond in Piers Morgan Paradise

Man had AK47 assault rifle hidden at Herefordshire home [More]

As opposed to a "patrol rifle"...?

[Via Jess]

This is CNN

A photo showing Gen. Scott Miller holding a fully loaded assault rifle in Ghazni, Afghanistan, is grabbing headlines. [More]

Why?

And why isn't it a "patrol rifle"?

We're the Only Ones Transmuting Enough

Sources told WFTV it was an automatic M-4 assault rifle, stolen from the unmarked vehicle of nine-year veteran Officer John Foshee outside his home in Volusia County over the weekend. [More]

So I guess that means it's no longer a "patrol rifle"?

[Via Harvey]

We're the Only Ones Lost and Found Enough

An FBI investigation into illegal drug activity uncovered a Dayton Police officer’s missing assault rifle Wednesday, March 10, inside a Trotwood home. [More]

Thank goodness!

Now that it's back under proper "Only One" control, we can start calling it a "patrol rifle" again!

[Via William T]

A Rose By Any Other Name

Suddenly, what had been an "assault weapon" (or the even less honest use of the term "assault rifle") has become a "patrol rifle"--presumably because it is now in the hands of a police officer.

Well, that's because, aside from having powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men, "The Only Ones" also can magically transmute "mass-murderizers" into "peace generators." You and I, on the other hand, will only wreak incompetent and homicidal havoc.

Hey, if enlightened and professional "authorized journalists" believe it, who are we to argue?

Undoing the Only Ones' Mess

Gun-toting citizen quickly disarms thug ANTIFA rioter who grabbed an AR-15 from a cop car [More]

So who's the moron who thought it would be a good idea to leave an unattended car with a "patrol rifle" in a riot zone?

[Via Jim Simpson for Congress]

We're the Only Ones Patrolling Enough

Loved the quotes from a LEO ignoramus who kept referring to semiautomatic rifles as "semiautomatic assault rifles". [More]

Good catch! But I don't think in this case it was made out of ignorance. The guy letting us know the state "deemed" them that was a Lewis County Chief Deputy, and they host NRA LAW ENFORCEMENT ACTIVITIES DIVISION- PATROL RIFLE INSTRUCTOR training (Hey, "Back the Blue," right?).

So when we own them they're evil "assault rifles," those "weapons of war" that have no legitimate purpose but to kill as many people as possible, but when in the hands of our heroic "Only Ones," their whole purpose changes?  Maybe they can explain to us how that happens.

I'll be right back.

UPDATE:

UPDATE:

UPDATE:

What's in a Name?

Why Are Russian Special Forces Training With American Assault Rifles? [More]

But...but...but these are selective fire. Everybody for "commonsense gun safety" has been telling me that "assault weapons" are semi-autos.  Besides, I thought in the hands of government actors they all transmute into patrol rifles...?

Or is that just when "weapons of war designed to kill as many people as possible and that have no place on our streets" are used by "Only Ones" against "civilians"?

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Patrolling Enough

Another officer coming with a patrol rifle. [More]

Note they're not willing to call ours "security of a free state rifles."

[Via Mack H]

Framing the Terms

In a discussion on another topic I was reminded of a helpful resource, the "POLITICALLY CORRECTED Glossary of Terms." [More]

That, in turn, reminds me of an older effort from back when our long-retired GunTruths effort was shiny and new.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make some adjustments on my patrol rifle...

We're the Only Ones Fragmented Enough

Former Safety Manager Charles Garcia fired Robert Fitzgibbons, 41, for an incident in which bullet fragments from the AR-15 he used injured Diamond Demmer, 29, a bystander during the incident July 2, 2010...Fitzgibbons compounded his offense by loading the weapon with military-type magnesium-tipped tracer rounds that illuminate the path the bullet takes, in a hardened metal jacket...[More]

That'll certainly light up the ol' Club Vinyl parking lot and provide a chest-thumping beat! 

I can understand this happening with assault rifles, which we all know are weapons of mass destruction and war that are only made for killing people as you spray fire from the hip, and have no legitimate sporting purpose because you can't hunt deer with them, but with a patrol rifle...?

[Via William T]

We're the Only Ones Counseled Enough

The Broward Sheriff's Office deputy who left his assault rifle in his car has been counseled for failing to follow proper procedures, according to records released Thursday. [More]

See, if he'd have participated in a wrong house raid and shot an armed homeowner with it, that would have been "proper procedure."

Some of you may take me to task for this, but I don't think a disparity of penalties for what would happen if you or I had done the same thing applies here enough to make this a true "Only Ones" story.

Why? Because of this:

"Patrol rifles will not be stored in a vehicle during off-duty hours," according to the Sheriff's Office policy manual on rifle storage. The words "will not" are in bold type.

See, if it had happened to you or me, it would have been classified an "assault rifle".

There's a big difference, you know...

[Via GunFreeZone]

We're the Only Ones Modified Enough

A Deschutes County sheriff’s patrol deputy of eight years has been placed on “modified duty” after his service rifle discharged as he was driving on U.S. Highway 97 and the bullet hit a building.

"...his service rifle discharged..."

"...Ron Brown’s AR 15 rifle went off..."

It's a good thing "Officers train with long-range weapons at least two days each year..."

This is where superior, intensive "Only One" training becomes invaluable. Otherwise, we might suspect guns going off would be their fault.

[Via MacEntyre]

I'd Rather Have the Gun

ATF offers $2,500 reward for info in theft of assault-style rifle from Petersburg patrol car  ... Authorities did not say whether the rifle is capable of fully automatic fire or equipped with a loaded magazine. [More]

I'm reminded of an old joke about a talking frog.

[Via DDS]

A 'Progressive' Dilemma

Wenliang Sun, 26, came to the attention of UCF Police after university staff reported a “dramatic change” in his appearance and behavior — including spending nearly $70,000 cash on a new car “out of the blue” — the university said in a news release. [More]

Those are triggers for deportation but being part of a gang or worshipping at a radical mosque are not?  And does that not prove a need for through vetting of foreign nationals?

Ah, but here's the real reason for all the hubbub:

When asked whether he wanted to harm himself or anybody else, Sun said no, but police were concerned that he referred to his weapon as a “sniper rifle” instead of a “hunting rifle,” Beary said.

I'm more concerned with "Only Ones" calling their "weapons of war" "patrol rifles."

[Via Jess]

We're the Only...Not AGAIN...

A Tampa police officer lost his 9 mm handgun, Taser, laptop computer and gun belt when someone stole his patrol car from his Manatee County house this weekend, officials said.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office speculated Monday that whoever stole Tampa police Officer Roderick Glyder's car and gear also swiped a patrol car belonging to a Sarasota police officer, who lost an AR-15 rifle that was in the car. Manatee deputies recovered both cars, although not the equipment, within a few blocks of each other, Manatee sheriff's spokesman Dave Bristow said.

So it's happened TWICE now. Yeah, that's been a constant problem for me and every gun owner I know, too--always leaving our guns in our cars, because, face it, we're just not professional enough.

Maybe the Tampa and Sarasota PD's should hold a "buyback to get dangerous guns off the street."

Tags: gun, police