A Rose By Any Other Name

Suddenly, what had been an "assault weapon" (or the even less honest use of the term "assault rifle") has become a "patrol rifle"--presumably because it is now in the hands of a police officer.

Well, that's because, aside from having powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men, "The Only Ones" also can magically transmute "mass-murderizers" into "peace generators." You and I, on the other hand, will only wreak incompetent and homicidal havoc.

Hey, if enlightened and professional "authorized journalists" believe it, who are we to argue?

We're the Only Ones Rewarding Enough

A submachine gun and other SWAT team weapons were stolen late Thursday or early Friday from an Orange County deputy's vehicle...The agency is offering a $2,500 reward for the return of the weapons...Earlier this year, a burglar stole a .223-caliber AR-15 assault rifle from an Orlando police patrol car. It has not been recovered despite a $1,500 reward.

Do I hear $3,000?

With the local paper reporting on it, there's no excuse for not knowing that "gun thefts are.. common" in the area. And, naturally, "[The Only One] was not identified..."

[Via Cousin G]

We're the Only...Not AGAIN...

A Tampa police officer lost his 9 mm handgun, Taser, laptop computer and gun belt when someone stole his patrol car from his Manatee County house this weekend, officials said.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office speculated Monday that whoever stole Tampa police Officer Roderick Glyder's car and gear also swiped a patrol car belonging to a Sarasota police officer, who lost an AR-15 rifle that was in the car. Manatee deputies recovered both cars, although not the equipment, within a few blocks of each other, Manatee sheriff's spokesman Dave Bristow said.

So it's happened TWICE now. Yeah, that's been a constant problem for me and every gun owner I know, too--always leaving our guns in our cars, because, face it, we're just not professional enough.

Maybe the Tampa and Sarasota PD's should hold a "buyback to get dangerous guns off the street."

Tags: gun, police