Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Of Stupid Trees and Messengers of Peace

For some reason, this post has disappeared from WarOnGuns. I am reposting it at the original date and time from the Internet Archive, complete with comments so they will not be lost.
FATAL ATTRACTION star MICHAEL DOUGLAS is planning to lobby the US government for tighter gun control, because he's still haunted by rocker JOHN LENNON's 1980 shooting death.
I guess when you've demonstrated you have no control over yourself, you must not believe others are capable of self-control, either. Which means they can't be trusted with guns.
Since Douglas feels compelled to continue his unprovoked attack on my rights, I feel compelled to dust off the following open letter from some years back. As it's no longer posted anywhere else on the net, I thought I'd resurrect it here on WarOnGuns.

---

September 8, 1999
Mr. Michael Douglas
C/O Creative Artists Agency
9830 Wilshire Blvd
Beverly Hills, CA 90212

"PRESS RELEASE: NEW YORK - Renowned film and television actor Michael Douglas challenged the international community to do more to control the spread of small arms worldwide. Before a unique gathering of foreign ministers, UN officials, arms experts, and arms lobbyists, Douglas, a newly appointed UN Messenger of Peace, relayed movingly the facts that 'speak for themselves which underlie the need for responsible control of small weapons.'"

Dear Mr. Douglas,

"Sex is a wave that just sweeps over me. When the urge comes, I am helpless."

These are your pathetic words. I cannot believe that a grown man would utter them, let alone share them with the world. But somehow, for someone self-inflated enough to allow himself to be labeled a "United Nations Messenger of Peace," hearing that you have spouted such inanities does not surprise me.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

They sound like the words of a psychopath awakening from a blackout to find his clothes splattered and several hours missing from memory. Ultimately, they are your admission that you have abdicated responsibility for your actions, that you cannot control yourself. It sounds like you need to be locked up.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

So how predictable that you have instead become a spokesman for global "gun control." Obviously, since you can't trust yourself, the thought of others not sharing your moral defects must be too much to handle; after all, if others are capable of self control, then the problem must be yours. Better to blame them, and better yet--blame their guns! If they didn't have them, they couldn't use them! And if those damn whore-their-way-to-the-top women would just stop letting you get into their...

Still, have you informed your current sex partner(s?) that you would rather see her (them?) assaulted, raped or murdered than armed? But I forget--you rich and famous folks employ bodyguards (armed ones, right?), and there's never a shortage of police and private security around whenever you make a public appearance. Never mind.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

"This is not the world I want to leave to my son," you bemoan, decrying that the world contains all ideas and things, that these can be used for good or ill, and ultimately, that free will produces choices and consequences.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

What your son has really needed is for you to be a man of honor, one who understands and lives by principles of decency and restraint--instead of an out-of-control adolescent rabbit. You have betrayed and defrauded him as you have betrayed and defrauded your wife, and the obligations of the marriage covenant that you entered freely into.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

Really. Did anyone ever tell you "no" when you were growing up? Your old man couldn't keep his pants zipped either--maybe it's his fault? Were there no restraints on whatever self-gratifying indulgence you wanted to wallow in? Was learning to sneak and cheat and blame "a wave" rather than yourself for your abject moral failure the tradeoff for having everything material in life handed to you?

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

My young sons understand "no," Mr. Douglas, at least better than you appear to. The savage instincts of little boys notwithstanding, there are limits on what they can have, and expected standards for their behavior and integrity. And they receive these lessons not just through admonishments, but, more importantly, through the conduct and example of a loving mother and father who understand their obligations, cherish honoring them, and control themselves accordingly.

But our kids are still working on things and we understand that. For instance, the other day, one of the boys skinned his hand on a branch he was climbing from.

"Stupid tree!" he shouted, angrily kicking the "offending" limb.

Oh well, he'll learn. We have plenty of time, love and patience to give him and his brother before they'll need to claim their rights and responsibilities as men. But you gotta admit, the way he blamed a thing rather than himself reflects that he is still very much a child, and such transference seems pretty silly and immature to adults. Trust me--it's a grownup thing.

"Wherever arms flow, the violence follows," you childishly declare.

Oh come on, Mr. Douglas, "Stupid guns?"

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

"Stupid urge," Mr. Douglas?

Do you also blame your "stupid penis" for your contemptible lack of sexual fidelity?

That society compensates your corrupted ethics and reasoning with celebrity, when by all objective standards you should be regarded as a weakling and a reprobate, speaks not of your achievements but of the misplaced cultural values you exemplify and feed off of. That amoral privileged dilettantes like you, who conduct their lives with arrogance, deception, deviancy and gall are honored and rewarded should be but an ironic joke.

Are you truly deluded enough to think that your ridiculous worldview merits anything but loathing and resistance? After all, you're relying on socialist world government functionaries to implement and administer your criminally ignorant, genocide-enabling manifesto. Under force of arms, I might add.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

What bullshit excuse-making. How weak of you. How puerile and despicable.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

Based on your own words, you cannot (or, more likely, will not) control yourself. What makes you think that Americans who unyieldingly believe in their Constitution will let you control them?

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

You go ahead and continue being helpless, Mr. Douglas. But you would also do well to realize that your liberty-minded countrymen are not. Unlike you, we are responsible, self-controlling adults, and we will not allow ourselves to be disarmed, nor our freedoms compromised; not by your calculating UN handlers, and certainly not by the infantile, stupid, weak and morally defective useful idiots they so effectively manipulate.

"When the urge comes, I am helpless."

I know a vet who can fix that for you. Until then, and especially if he invites you up in front of the General Assembly, you might want to keep away from Kofi Annan's leg.

With utmost sincerity,

David Codrea

posted by David Codrea | 6:22 AM 
Anonymous said...
Michael Douglas is a most despicable, noisome twerp. I never could stand the slimeball. And the fact that Catherine Zeta-Jones married him speaks volumes about her.
12/02/2005 11:17 PM
David said...
There is a very effective way and means of stopping these Holly-woodheads, Flaming Media and Ultra-Liberal Corporations. STOP BUYING THEIR PRODUCTS AND SERVICES! BOYCOTT!

Bet they will have a sudden 'change of heart' if you hit them where it hurts - their wallets!

ê àäó ñ tyrants!
(To HELL with Tyrants!)
12/03/2005 8:09 PM
David said...
By the way Daivd - EXCELLENT article!
12/03/2005 8:11 PM
Firehand said...
As I recall, didn't she make him sign an agreement basically handing her everything he owns if he's caught cheating on her? She insisted on it based on his past record.
12/07/2005 9:05 AM
David Codrea said...
Per The Washington Times, Culture Briefs, Insuring it all, January 15, 2004:

The prenuptial agreement between Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones reportedly entitles her to $5 million for any act of infidelity on Douglas's part."
— Cullen Murphy, writing on "Looking for Trouble," in the January/February issue of the Atlantic Monthly
12/07/2005 6:15 PM

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