I Use My Hands to...

...murder an animal companion.

The Brady Campaign/God Not Guns/Enuretics United coalition issued a "Hands Without Guns" coloring book a while back because it's something smug liberals think is relevant for turning their children into good little herd animals.

One thing I always get amusement out of is when the Stupid Left turns on itself--and I try to encourage that from time to time. For instance, when Levi Strauss supported citizen disarmament a few years back, I emailed People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, complaining about the tag the company put on the back of their jeans, which, while politically acceptable enough to be imitation leather, still depicted a cruel scene of capitalist exploitation via whip-driven animal slavery.

Well, I, for one, can't sit still while the thoughtless religious zealot specists at the Brady/God Alliance endorse the sport murder of beings that "are smart, interesting animals with their own unique personalities—just like the dogs and cats we share our homes with."

That assertion comes from our friends at PETA, who even have their own comic book to prove it, and hopefully deflect some of the ichthyocidal violence initiated by a cult group of superstitious fanatics. I mean, it's bad enough that Jesus fed the multitudes with the flesh of these gentle souls.

Join me in asking PETA to demand the retraction of "Hands Without Guns" until the hideously offensive depiction of a child...a child, for Dagon's sake...stalking what should be finny friends, with premeditated and horribly agonizing murder in her heart, is deleted.

And while we're at it, let's not forget the impaled worm and the exploited goat hostage...