We're the Only Ones Fantastic Four Enough

Cryptic Subterranean treats us to four "Only Ones" vignettes:

• A RANDY cop is facing prosecution after raiding a brothel — and allegedly returning later for sex.
• A legal expert says a judge's decision to find an off-duty Calgary police officer not guilty of drunk driving has nothing to do with favourtism [sic] of police officers and everything to do with the wording of the law.
• A bizarre standoff in Wilsonville took place between police and a double-amputee and ended with the suspect in the hospital.
• A father criticised a police force today for launching an investigation after his ten-year-old son allegedly called a schoolfriend “gay” in an email.

There. Don't we all feel safer now?