Wednesday, April 23, 2008

We're the Only Ones "How Now, Brown Cow?" Enough

More charges have been filed against a Burlington County police officer who was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.

Authorities announced Moorsetown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.
Whoopie-Ti-Yi-Yo, get along little dogie!

Hey, they were horny.

I've heard of "cow tipping," but this is ridiculous. Udderly disgusting, and that's no bull, but it does add a new dimension to the term "cowpoke."

At least now we know what made the cow jump over the moon.

Sorry for the the groaners, but I'm milking this for all it's worth.

Yeesh!

[Via William Y]

[More from "The Only Ones" Files]

UPDATE: Oh, look! The Moorestown PD expects you to prove your mental stability to them before they'll allow you to purchase a handgun!

Hey, don't have a cow, man!
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9 comments:

  1. opaww4/23/2008 5:41 PM

    Application for Duplicate or Change to Firearms Purchaser Identification Card:

    A) No fee for lost, stolen, mutilated cards or change of name/address and/or sex on Form STS-3. (Change of Name or Address Requires Old Card to be Surrendered).

    What the hell, NJ got a lot of people changing their sex?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kurt '45superman' Hofmann4/23/2008 5:49 PM

    So what's your beef with the Moorestown PD, David?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/23/2008 7:03 PM

    Heh.

    I saw on the Moorestown PD webpage that despite having a Fee charged for practically everything else, there is NO FEE for the "New Jersey Voluntary Registration of Firearms"...

    WhodaThunkit?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shermlock Shomes4/23/2008 7:44 PM

    Hey, we all know this sort of behavior is just part of 'trans-species erotica.' Perfectly normal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. David Codrea4/23/2008 9:05 PM

    Y'know, I just now noticed something I'd completely missed before:

    MOO-restown.

    All things considered, that's pretty dang funny. Either that, or this was a family reunion of sorts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. tjbbpgob4/23/2008 9:59 PM

    I hope he had some clean overalls.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous4/24/2008 12:29 AM

    I was going to recomend you post this under the title, "We're the ONLY ONES Bovine enough..."

    But I see you already got it.

    Shucks!

    LongBow

    ReplyDelete
  8. opaww4/24/2008 6:12 AM

    He would not have to do this kind of stuff if they would pay him Moo-r money

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous4/24/2008 10:48 AM

    The cows will not press charges. To err is human, to forgive, bovine.

    "Robert, that word you keep using, `animal husbandry'... I do not theenk it means what you theenk it means."

    The TV show "Cavemen" said it right: "Keep your penis in your genus."

    ReplyDelete

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