Wednesday, July 02, 2008

UK to Ban Nothing

But councils believe they have found a better use for their money: reducing the number of holes in chip shop salt shakers.

Research has suggested that slashing the holes from the traditional 17 to five could cut the amount people sprinkle on their food by more than half.
And what is a hole, if not "nothing"? If you think about it, they are actually banning an absence, a void.

Seems to me people will just keep shaking the damn things until they get what they want. Damned nanny staters won't even let you eat in peace.

But it does give petty area shakers and movers a chance to expend public plunder, and salt somebody's pockets...

I can't wait for this pilot program to go nationwide and become enforceable. Can you imagine a police as-salt team (sorry) doing a flash-bang dynamic entry and dragging any surviving violaters away to the...uh...salt mines?

3 comments:

  1. "Seems to me people will just keep shaking the damn things until they get what they want."

    I guess they figure people aren't that smart.

    Sort of like the idea of making smaller magazines for guns; it never occurs to lawmakers that it just means carrying more mags. I'm starting to feel that people go into politics because they aren't smart enough to get a real job.

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  2. Jonathan Swift's satire about the war between people who break their eggs on the BIG end and those who break the LITTLE end may have been eclipsed by reality.
    By the way, people who tried to compromise by breaking them in the middle were despised and killed by both Endian factions.
    There is no matter so small that government will not insinuate itself into it.

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  3. When encountering an uncooperative salt shaker, I find myself taking the top off to dispense it enmasse. Something I would not have done if I gotten the right amount in the first place.
    So this law/rule is antithetical in nature- in order to get people to eat less salt, you have to make it more available. The less available it is, the more people will want it?

    Hmmm.. must be limited to just salt shakers.

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