A criminal from Limerick said
I'll put this gun next to me head
Then he made it go bang
And it scared the whole gang...
...who probably couldn't tell the difference, since this Darwin Award finalist was obviously brain dead to begin with. [More]
I'll put this gun next to me head
Then he made it go bang
And it scared the whole gang...
No word yet on the status of his employment application with the BATF, but things are looking favorable...
ReplyDeleteAt least, for a change, the media didn't blame the gun.
ReplyDeletehe doesn't sound too critical to me.
ReplyDeleteIn the words of a great boxer of a bygone era, "What's the point of being Irish if you can't be stupid?" The late great Billy Conn.
ReplyDeleteJH, you made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteSo did the reporter. "Shot himself in the head at close range." Well, unless he was Elastic Man, yes.
And the part about "feared gangster." Why feared? Obviously the authorities know where he lives. You mean they don't keep them locked up, just like WE don't?
And "glock" as an adjective, not a capitalized proper noun.
Still, not a gun-demonizing article, for which I'm grateful.
A thug in Lim'rick's bad section
ReplyDeleteBrought his handgun out for inspection
But he got his hands crossed
and is paying the cost
of an impromptu hot lead injection.
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ReplyDeleteYou guys are all great - you brightened this day in my otherwise dreary life, and I thank you.
ReplyDeleteBut to be fair - my understanding is that the dead lad is not being sought by the BAT FU, but actually by the FBI's elite Hostage Murder Team, to replace infamous woman-and- baby-killer Lon Whore-a-hoochie.... who was deemed slightly more stupid that this gent... even after this feared boss assumed room temperature.
As a way to celebrate St. Paddy's Day, it'll never catch on. I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
ReplyDeleteFunny how the article doesn't mention whether or not the pistol had a wire stock to meet the 24 inch minimum length. Because we all know that the length of a weapon is what caused the murders at Dunblane.
ReplyDeleteWhat we do know is that the Home Office will record it as a accidental death by firearm, and further "proof" that the populace should be even more disarmed.
Prepare to be scolded by neophytes, so frightened and unfamiliar with weapons that they will only suggest that weapons be locked away. Anyway, that crook did it all wrong. He should have fought his way back to the gun safe and shot himself in the face with his rifle. Sheesh.
I love this here "lady from Bristol"
ReplyDeletesaid the mafia boss of his pistol.
When they handed out brains
he was sure they said "planes"
and his flew like the down of a thistle.
So the Irish REPUBLICan Army has disarmed, while the criminals are arming up. Fighting for national self-determination: no. Killing for financial gain and fun: government approved. In a way. The only way that counts. A hundred "second chances."
Notice how the article carefully says about six times that he shot HIMSELF? Imagine the panic that would ensue among the unarmed if word got out about an internal power struggle with assassinations in the big crime gangs.
ReplyDeleteWell - Defender gets my nomination for the Best Limerick About Dead Ayholes division.
ReplyDeleteThe self-inflicted part is of interest, though. I was one of many who left reviews at Amazon for a book written by a military deserter who claimed ( falsely) to have served active duty... and he wrote about one of his friends who tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head with a rifle grenade. Regardless of his perhaps having arms that were twelve feet long, most of you probably know that there is a time delay on the grenade fuse so that it travels a set distance before detonation.
Some things you read, and just shake your head.
Hopefully without holding a firearm near it.
Being Irish myself, I just shrug, and remember G*d created whiskey, so that the Irish would not rule the world.
ReplyDelete