Environmentalists Seek to Wipe Out Plush Toilet Paper [More]Yes, it has come to this: The Buttwipe Nazis.
I wonder what the special government enforcement unit would be called if they get their way? I'm open to suggestions for acronyms and names in "Comments."
Tim Spring: People in life have not been kind to you, have they? Perhaps try better personal hygiene and you won't be such an uptight sphincter? Or at least won't itch so much?
Still, who would want to use paper made from old growth forests when quilted pads woven from spotted owl feathers make for such a more luxurious experience?
Good grief.
Did you know that Dick Wilson not only played Mr. Whipple on the Charmin commercials, but also Captain Gruber on "Hogan's Heroes"? And they say there are no coincidences.
Not only have the enviornmental communists made America the most unfriendly business location on earth, they're showing their fixation on everything anal. Their projection on us to use recycled toilet paper won't be the end (ahem), and if they kill a lot or a few of us, it's all the same to them, as long as they get their way.
ReplyDeletejust one more step closer to having to use the 3 sea shells.
ReplyDeleteI don't give a shit what kind of toilet paper the watermelons want me to use.
ReplyDeleteHow about Council to Regulate Anal Preparedness, known simply as CRAP?
ReplyDeleteOr Federally Empaneled Committee to Enforce Sanitation known as FECES?
Or Sanitation Fouled Totally Up, known by everyone as STFU (double entendre intended)
Sanitation Totally Fouled Up, I really should be awake when I do this.
ReplyDeleteThey can take my Charmin when they pull it from my cold dead butt.
ReplyDeleteI have used rocks, sticks, leaves, corncobs, ice, snow, and scraps of clothing. I LIKE my Charmin Ultra when I have a choice.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the argument that the trees are "scrubbing CO2.... wouldn't younger, more actively growing trees use more CO2 than older trees? I sense another feeble excuse.
Maybe the answer is to look into new sources of long fibers for soft fluffy tissue.... grasses, maybe?
Hemp, Kent.
ReplyDelete"This is really good sh**."
I sure as heck don't want to use Chinese toilet paper. I've been to China and the toilet paper there is a fine 500 grit abrasive.
ReplyDeleteThese libtards have no idea what unintended consequences they'll bring to their own butts.
Perhaps this will actually spark off the revolution. When the set of unintended consequences moves past the simple monotony of dead bodies and seized assets (easy now), and actually starts to include brown-market dingleberries, well, that just might prove too much load for some people to bear.
ReplyDeleteInteresting opportunities for protest, though...
'like europeans', why are we always the scapegoats for 'progressive policy'? I'm european, I don't wipe my ass with cardboard unless there's nothing else in the store.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of shitty assholes!
ReplyDeleteI always thought "Old Growth Forest" products were used for lumber, and "Farmed Forest" products were used for paper.
ReplyDeleteAnybody know more about this?
They grow paper on purpose! Paper grows on trees! They take in CO2 and exude Oxygen - they are planted for this purpose - it's a net good.
ReplyDeleteI recently watched Matrix Reloaded, and learned a very helpful tip for what to use in place of paper:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaU3bE7M2UA
Samsam