The Noble Savage

Last week, 200 men from the tribe, called Mashco-Piro, raided the village of Monte Salvado armed with bows and arrows. [More]

It's hardly a surprise that they could get away with that, terrifying the villagers and necessitating their evacuation. And naturally, the culprit, at least according to "progressives," is a modern standard of living:

Some ... point to climate change, which has led to steeper drops in temperature.

Remember, we're dealing with Opposite Day. Of course "global warming" results in "steeper drops."

If only we were all mandated to a Gaia-friendly lifestyle. Guns aren't the only technology our superiors need to control and withhold from us, you know.

First French oyster herpes and now this. What more proof do we need?

Say, maybe we could transplant the tribe here, what with diversity being our greatest strength and all. If you thought "The Beverly Hillbillies" offered comic culture clash opportunities, wait 'til the networks pick up "The Mashcochussans" pilot!