The Professor Harold Hill Award

80-YEAR-OLD MAN RAISES $250K FOR BERNIE AND BETO. BUYS MERCEDES INSTEAD, FEDS SAY [More]

That's the feel-good story of the week. I hope he also got some hookers with that for his last hurrah.

Now he'll get three hots and a cot and free medical care until checkout time.

I do challenge U.S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman's "hard-earned money" characterization for most of the freaks who thought this was a good idea.