Carnival of the Only Ones 2

Come on in, right through the turnstile here. Welcome to another Carnival of the Only Ones. Want a map of the grounds, or are you just going to wander? Right over there is the midway. Where should we go first?

Well, what the heck--it's my show, so I'll start if off with Wonders from The WarOnGuns:

We begin with this Circassian Beauty--Hubba, hubba, step back, gents. Who doesn't love a woman out of uniform, out of a car, out of her service pistol? And friend Bounty Hunter tells us there's an amateur dance contest open to all you young ladies going on under your...uh...THE Big Top!

Next we have the amazing self-firing handgun. Or was it a cell phone?

Don't get too close--it's The Amazing Electro, who can discharge bolts of Jovian wrath into his youthful assistant and still remain on active duty!

Next we wander over to the shooting gallery, where Y. Can Aire points out some amazing "feets" of marksmanship. I'll bet that was one "Only One" who was hopping mad!

But enough levity. Longtime WoG contributor Straightarrow calls our attention to Madame Nicki's, where she's featuring The Only Ones' Salute to Disabled Septuagenarian War Vets, a performance sure to make you wave your arms in patriotic fervor--assuming they haven't been yanked behind your back to aggravate old war wounds. It must be a great show, because BobG and his friends can't stop talking about it.

One thing we pride ourselves on here at The Only Ones Carnival is giving our customers a good deal. .45 Superman tells us to go visit the Pima County Sheriff's booth--offers like this won't last. Sorry, no rain checks, no returns, but Declan says you might want to ask for a sales slip anyway.

One of the best things about a carnival is the food. Kettle corn. Cotton candy. Funnel cakes. Sno-Cones. M-mmm. But correspondent NF tell us it's also important for some of us to watch our diets and make sure we get enough fiber. Along with enough illegal handguns, but when you're an alderman, you're also an "Only One," and the regular rules don't apply. (Arenda Troutman's colon? Suddenly, I've lost my appetite. Too bad, because Cowboy Blob tells us there's a Subway concession.)

But that's OK, because frequent correspondent 1894C reports there's more action afoot again back at the shooting gallery--you can't say The Only Ones aren't putting their best foot forward for this carnival.

Hey, who feels like trying out some of the rides? Hairy Hobbit suggests we try The Streak. Wait--that's not a ride--it involves someone without clothes getting some Amazing Electro action over at the food area--I knew we should have gotten a map at the entrance--we just went around full circle.

Does anyone need to use one of the clean rest facilities the Carnival prides itself on (well, assuming Arenda hasn't been there first)? Tavis S. points the way, and tells us even there you might walk away with a prize. Tavis also tells us that apparently, some kind of fundraiser involving dirty cars is being held.

Fits knows the importance of safety at any Carnival, and lets us know that in case of emergencies, there's a security tent set up to take your report and respond as only The Only Ones can.

.45 Superman has just returned from the dealer tables and tells us we absolutely gotta check out one of the most amazing acts ever performed at the Carnival: The Psychic Psychiatrist, the Mental Mindreader, that Enforcer of Emotion, Boulder County Sheriff Joe Pelle, who claims "[We're] the only ones who know whether the applicant is suicidal or is hallucinating about intruders."

OK, Omnipotent Only One--what card did I pick? The King of Clubs? Amazing--how does he do it? Or am I just hallucinating?

Hyunchback tells us he just had an electrifying experience--no, he hasn't circled back to Amazing Electro's show, he's found a worthy rival for AE (we'll bill him as Lightning Lord), who is passing on his awesome powers to the next generation in an in-your-face performance. We're sure you'll get a charge out of his act--or at least the little girls in the audience will.


And now we direct your attention to above the throngs, above the midway, above the law! Civis Proeliator announces The High-Flying Only Ones, who perform their legislature-defying act without a net! (I can't look!)

Well, that's it for this Only Ones Carnival. A big thanks to all who participated and contributed. I hope everybody had a good time. If you really want to get your money's worth, now that you've seen the highlights, take some time and go explore some of the fine blogs linked to here.

And remember:

The purpose of "The Only Ones" has never been to bash cops. The only reason I do this is to amass a credible body of evidence to present when those who would deny our right to keep and bear arms use the argument that only the police are professional and trained enough to do so safely and responsibly. And it's also used to illustrate when those of official status, rank or privilege, both in law enforcement and in some other government position, get special breaks not available to we commoners, particularly when they're involved in gun-related incidents.