We're the Only Ones "How Now, Brown Cow?" Enough

More charges have been filed against a Burlington County police officer who was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.

Authorities announced Moorsetown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

Whoopie-Ti-Yi-Yo, get along little dogie!

Hey, they were horny.

I've heard of "cow tipping," but this is ridiculous. Udderly disgusting, and that's no bull, but it does add a new dimension to the term "cowpoke."

At least now we know what made the cow jump over the moon.

Sorry for the the groaners, but I'm milking this for all it's worth.

Yeesh!

[Via William Y]

[More from "The Only Ones" Files]

UPDATE: Oh, look! The Moorestown PD expects you to prove your mental stability to them before they'll allow you to purchase a handgun!

Hey, don't have a cow, man!

May the Schvarts Be With You

Or not.

Don't fret, Yale. I've got another artist lined up for you who makes Aliza look like the rank amateur she is.

My main man Trashman.

The ethics seem about right.

The Grasshopper and the Ants Redux

Americans hoard food as industry seeks regs

What did I tell ya.

The first propaganda step is to characterize preparedness planners as hoarders, that is, selfish, unsympathetic and antisocial.

Along with barterers...uh...price gougers.

Something must be done!

And when that happens, those who did not assume responsibility for their provisioning will be properly covetous, desperate, and importantly, conditioned, to feel the selfish bastards are getting just what's comin' to 'em...

There sure do seem to be a lot of disconcerting rumblings in the air lately...what's the recurring line from Star Wars?

I have a bad feeling about this.

DeathSponge NotePants

Those of you not into anime will have no idea what this is about and will no doubt find it a stupid waste of your time. Me, I about spit coffee all over my keyboard. [Watch]

[Via JC]

A Crisis Intervention

During the week of April 21-25, 2008, some IUPUI students will be participating in the Second National Empty Holster protest here on campus.

These students are members of the Students for Concealed Carry on Campus (SCCC) and will attend classes wearing EMPTY holsters.

We are posting this information to increase awareness of this event due to our concern about the potential negative impact seeing individuals on campus with holsters may have on some individuals.

If you, or someone you know, has been a victim or witness of violent crime or been engaged in combat, it is possible that seeing holsters might trigger a memory or post-traumatic reaction.

Right. Self-insemination/abortion for show-and-tell is bold artistic expression, but see an empty holster and let the PSH begin. And I suppose none of these precious young innocents have ever seen a slasher movie or a violence-simulating video game? And they somehow don't break down into quivering, gelatinous blobs when an "Only One" with a real gun in a holster saunters by?

The only thing empty around the CAPS department would appear to be the heads of the panic-inducing loons running it.

This isn't science and it isn't medicine. At best, it's witch doctoring, but in reality, it's more likely agenda-driven manipulation and a stunt for attention and relevance.

Anyone that crippled and weak has bigger problems than seeing a holster, and is far too unhinged to not be in custodial care. And if you think about it, that's just the way the nanny-statists want you to be.

What a pathetic indictment on their self-loathing, and loathing of anyone not so deficient. That such as these don't trust their fellows to bear the responsibilities of free men is not only inevitable, why would any sane, whole person want the approval of such twitching, paranoid wretches?

The lunatics are, indeed, running the asylum. Just ask them: capsindy@iupui.edu

[Via John R]

We're the Only Ones Tea-Timing Enough

Sorry, wrong house: Drug squad's sledgehammer raid nets a dinner lady drinking tea

Or "We're the "Only Ones" Earl Grey Enough?

Tell me this doesn't have all the makings of a Monty Python skit:

Head 3: Oh stop bickering and let's go have tea!
Head 1: All right, all right, let's kill him first, and then go have tea and biscuits.
Head 2: Yes.
Head 3: Oh not biscuits.
Head 1: All right all right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway!

At least this time, the reporter notes, there weren't any dummies in the house. Oh, wait...

[Via Jeffersonian]

A Liberal Interpretation

When it comes to discussing the Second Amendment, liberals check at the door their ability to think rationally.

I'd argue they do that on just about every issue. Still it's nice to see a cogent intellectual argument presented to those who normally don't see such things.

Predictably, with a lot of the "dont confuse us with the facts" belligerents haunting Daily Kos comments, it's a wasted effort. Reason only works with reasonable people.

[Via Rick R]

Happiness IS a Warm Gun

We give more, too.

[Via M. R. Jarrell and Thaddeus Fendon]

Occupied Territory

A spike in Chicago shootings that made national news over the weekend was caused in part by a gang war that flared on the South Side, police said.

And police plan to respond with gun, tactical and gang teams -- even SWAT officers in battle gear.

The "spate" has mutated into a "spike"?

Cops on the beat aren't happy. I guess being "The Only Ones" with guns can create unintended consequences that actually make your job more dangerous. Who'd have thought?

Get ready for a Summer of Love, Chicago. Especially if Hillary manages to derail Barack.

[Via HZ]

Keep Your Powder Dry

Chris Cox summarizes the latest ammo "control" schemes being plotted. He uses this to urge us to "be in the voting booth on Election Day 2008."

Since there are only three viable candidates in the race, take that as NRA's implied endorsement of John McCain--without them coming right out and saying so, and all the while maintaining the plausible deniability that they haven't.

What a surprise.

Who could have seen that one coming?

[Via Dave Licht]

Thank You, Mr. Zavala...

...for the eloquent defense you put up on my behalf in the June 2008 issue of GUNS Magazine ("Crossfire" letters, pg. 6). I just got mine yesterday and was pleased to find out I am probably not a "Trojan Horse" after all.

And thanks to the rest of you who also wrote in. My editor shared your emails with me, and I appreciate there are some willing to stand with me. That's important to know when you rankle as many people--on both "sides"--as I seem to.

We're the Only Ones Not Investigating Enough?

The NYPD Internal Affairs Bureau has announced they will not investigate the allegations that cops broke into the home without a warrant.

But the New York Post promised they would...

If they truly suspected there was a hostage, since when does the department train its "Only Ones" to bang on the door and threaten to break it down?

[Via Cycjec]

This Day in History: April 23

The Provincial Congress in Massachusetts orders 13,600 American soldiers to be mobilized. Colonial volunteers from all over New England assemble and head for Boston, then establish camps around the city and begin a year long siege of British-held Boston.