Somalia Changes Name to "Bradyland"

Somalia's president told residents of the only town his government controls Tuesday they have a week to give up their weapons, after which "every single gun in Baidoa" will be seized by force.

We now have a perfect test laboratory for assessing the benefits of complete gun control.

Expect "gun death" rates to plummet.

Oh, happy day!

Plotting in the Dark

Struggling to find solutions to Philadelphia's seemingly intractable wave of violence, regional leaders including Mayor Street and Cardinal Justin Rigali held an unprecedented summit meeting at City Hall yesterday.

The two-hour, closed session ended with no new initiatives, but participants hailed it as an important step in quelling the gun violence that so far has claimed 232 lives this year...

"Hopefully, God will give us more wisdom to address this problem more effectively than we have in the past," Rigali said before the meeting.

Why is a meeting concerning the rights of the people closed to them? And why does that "wall of separation" between church and state we're always hearing about conveniently disappear whenever it serves the purposes of the rulers?

And how come Philly still has a "gun violence" problem, anyway? We were promised "Project Exile" would put an end to that.

If Ye Love Wealth...

Two out of state gun dealers sued by Mayor Michael Bloomberg for allegedly selling firearms illegally have agreed to a settlement that puts their sales and inventory under the microscope of a special monitor, city officials said Monday.

It would be nice to think dealers would have the sand to stand up to tyranny, but they're merchants, and their priorities are with their businesses.

The object lesson here is to realize this. We can't look to the gun industry to do what's right for gun owners. We can, in fact, count on the industry to sell us out if it serves their interests.

And we need to be constantly on guard to make sure factions in the "gun lobby" don't favor the sometimes competing interests of their industry benefactors over ours.

We're the Only Ones Trippy Enough

A Los Angeles police officer accidentally fired his handgun when he stumbled chasing a suspect down a staircase, but no one was injured, authorities said Monday.

I could just about swear there was a rule covering this...but what do I know? I'm not an "Only One."

Hot Lead

We were awakened at 3:14 am by a phone call with no one on the other end. Caller ID said "The Hot Lead Company 818-638-8049."

I called back and got fax noises. They are searching for active fax numbers to send fax spam to.

Apparently, they've been around and annoying people for some time, even ignoring injunctions.

Note to the proprietors: When the phone rings at 3:00 am, it's not unreasonable to anticipate urgent and terrible news. You people are scum and you just called the wrong guy.