When Sausages are Outlawed...

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying "Pappy's Seasoning" to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Since the assailant wasn't an "Only One," it must have been an "assault sausage" rather than a "patrol sausage."

What are Some Customers Saying About Vonage?

From personal experience, reinforced just a few minutes ago, I'm not surprised.

As the Wolves Howl in the Distance

With the site of a gunman's murderous rampage as a backdrop, Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion promised to strengthen gun laws to ensure that military assault weapons are banned.

"A new Liberal government will make our cities, our communities, and our schools safer by getting military assault weapons off our streets," Dion said at an event at Dawson College in Montreal.

I can just hear all the sheep bleating "Dis-a-a-a-arm us! Dis-a-a-a-arm us!" followed in the not-too-distant future by a panicked "LA-A-A-AMBERT!"

Let us not forget though, there are still some lions in the north deserving of our respect and support.

Big Pain for Lil Wayne

A police officer said Monday she saw rapper Lil Wayne with a gun on his tour bus last year after a concert.

Officer Diane Hornung testified in a pretrial hearing that she had gotten on the bus on July 22, 2007, because she saw and smelled marijuana smoke wafting from the bus' open door.

Plus she "saw someone peeking through the window." I'm surprised that's not a separate charge.

I'm trying to figure out what this guy did that endangered or victimized another human being by force, fraud or criminal negligence, and absent that what the problem is or why his private property and private conduct is anybody else's damn business.

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How to Deal with Bears

Now school officials want to make sure children know how to react if a bear crosses their path.

Like this?

Or like this?

She Just Keeps Reinventing Herself

Good ol' anti-gun (for you and me) Madonna returns to her roots in this latest incarnation.


And to think that just a few short weeks ago she was a Gorn Star.

We're the Only Ones Who Really Fracture You Enough

News media released footage showing Mr. Niemeyer restraining the girl, and then leaping upon another student, Joshua Lockett, who was videotaping the incident until he was attacked by security guards trying to take the camera. When Ms. Lockett begged them to let him go, she said, another guard attacked her, fracturing her arm.

Pick up those cake crumbs or I'll break your arm.

It's a question of who's the "Only One" who owns you, and Judge Estes just made that clear.

I'm glad we have that established now.

[Via Cigar Rollers]

SSINF*

Chicago schools, police officials unveil plans to curb student violence
Increased security, text messaging service are among initiatives

Text messaging. Nothing like attacking a problem at its root.

And you just knew, coming from gun-free schools in gun-free Chicago, that it would all boil down to this:

"[E]asy availability of guns in our society is staggering."

Forget it Jake, it's Chi-Town.

I have to wonder though, if a student does text the paid snitch line, will it show up on their called numbers display, outing and endangering them if someone takes their phone?

[Via HZ]

*

The Freedom Orphan

But freedom isn't freedom without the right to pursue what you value—money or knowledge, pleasure or sacrifice, God or atheism, community or misanthropic solitude—rather than what others think you should value. It includes the right to go to hell, and the right to tell others to do the same.

That defines us as human beings. It's why we have free will. It's why it's up to us make a choice and then reap the consequences or rewards.

Without meaning to sound overly religious, it's why anyone interfering with that choice, by threats or force and for reasons other than defense of self or others, commits an act of blasphemy.

[Via Ron W]

We're the Only Ones Spicing Up Your Life Enough

A woman...was doused with pepper spray while suffering an epileptic seizure...

“They called the police for help by I tried to explain to them that she has epilepsy. She has proof from her doctor that she is sick and can easily become aggressive when she suffers an attack”...

“They evidently got spray on themselves too because we were forced to stop and air out the ambulance,” explained the woman.

Somehow I envision a bunch of Swedish "Only Ones" hopping around yelling "Yumpin' Yiminy!"

[Via cycjec]

This Day in History: September 9

The Major General commanding the division of the army, posted between Prospect-hill and Cambridge river, is to be very exact in obliging the Colonels and Field Officers, to lay in the Encampments of their respective regiments; and particularly, the Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel of the 30th Regiment.