Songs of Solomon

I was going through some old files and found the following letters, written and sent respectively to Bill Clinton and Janet Reno during the Elian Gonzalez dispute. I thought I'd resurrect them here, not because they're timely, but just because.

Dear Mr. President, The answer is so simple. We all know it, and have for years. We learned about it long ago, and it's part of our common heritage. The answer is in that Bible you carry around in public. Remember Solomon? Remember the two women who claimed a child was theirs? You should order the INS to cut Elian in half! Send the left half to Castro. The Miami Cubans get to keep the right. Talk about a metaphor! 'Course if somebody blinks first, and cedes him to the other side, well, that's who gets to keep him. What a legacy for someone who is looking for exactly that. The wisdom of Solomon! And if nobody blinks and you actually have to go through with it? Well, all those dead kids at Waco didn't hurt your poll numbers any. And if things get too hot, you can just order another bomb strike somewhere. That always seems to work.

***

Dear Ms. Attorney General, Reliable reports document the grandmother of Elian Gonzales biting his tongue and unzipping his pants because she wanted to see if his "little private parts" had grown. Recalling that the catalyst for the massacre of the Branch Davidian children was your concern that they were being sexually abused, your duty, and the precedent for defining it, seem clear. Call in the Hostage Rescue Team. Elian must die.

[Graphic originally posted at GunTruths.com]

We're the Only Ones Unregistered Enough

A veteran Toronto cop once named officer of the month for "superior investigative skills" has been charged with possession of an unregistered handgun at his Oakville residence...The gun, a Glock automatic, allegedly came to the attention of police as a result of a domestic incident a few weeks ago.

Note to "The Only Ones": The net you help to draw can catch you up just as easily, and eventually will.

And the Chief Inspector Dreyfus Award Goes To...

A woman staying at a northeast Georgia motel this week shot herself while trying to light a cigarette -- with a loaded pistol.

"Fighting at a Waffle House..."

Sounds like a classy, intelligent gal all the way around.

Don't just stand there, help me find my nose!

A Bit o' the Blarney

Fine Gael's Justice Spokesman Jim O'Keeffe has called on the Minister for Justice, Michael McDowell, to provide gardaí with extra resources to tackle what he called the apparently all-pervasive gun culture in the country.

"All-pervasive" is it now?

There you go on again with your tales.

Why, everyone knows that guns are tightly controlled here in Dublin and across the Emerald Isle. Next you'll be tellin' us you saw the wee people.

"A never-ending spate."

Ha! Good one, O'Keeffe, now pour us a pint. Begorra, you do go on...

Prosecutor: Ban Fantasy Knives

A futuristic, wicked four-bladed weapon that was used in a Thanksgiving Day assault in Grand Blanc Township should be outlawed, said Genesee County Prosecutor David S. Leyton...

"The only purpose of a weapon like this is to maim and kill," Leyton said.

Uh, yeah, Dave, that's kind'a what a weapon is for:

something (as a club, knife, or gun) used to injure, defeat, or destroy

But it's not the only purpose. First, it could be used for defense--would you mug someone holding one? Plus, there are plenty (millions?) of fantasy knife collectors who have never harmed a soul. I've never caught that bug, but to each his own. And besides, you and Capt. Rariden were reported as saying "the use of the knife in this case was the first time [you] had heard of it."

So wouldn't you say the problem is being a bit overblown?

If someone was coming at you with a Critical Mass four-blader, would you want to counter them with another one, or would you prefer, say, a gun, because you realize it would be a superior choice of weapon, that is, more capable of maiming and killing? Following your logic, do you therefore want to ban guns, too?

I found your press release over at your website (you're really milking this for all the ink you can get, aren't you?), and noticed the picture of you and one of "The Only Ones," who I presume can be trusted with such a fearsome implement due to his superior morals, training, judgment, intelligence, etc., while us mere citizens would instantly turn into homicidal automatons. I know you agree that cops enjoy a special status over citizens, because you also think they are the Only Ones who should be immune from prosecution for theft "of video games and movies seized from suspected drug houses..."

I love your excuse for dismissing felony larceny charges: All the other Flint cops are doing it, so no individual should be singled out! Hysterical, Dave! That's like my kid telling me "Billy's mom let's him do it."And besides, they weren't stealing, they were--what word did you use?--"borrowing."

Besides, I'm sure you'd be just as quick to drop felony charges against non-cop criminals, because all the other criminals are stealing?

What the hell is wrong with the citizens of Genessee County, giving an opportunistic political fraud like you power over their lives? But seeing as how you'll exploit whatever sensationalist angle you can to advance your quest for power over others, here's another deadly weapon you might be able to advance your career by going after.

That sucker looks like it could do some serious damage, and is much too dangerous to trust in the hands of a mere citizen. Better get one of your Flint LEOs to take time away from playing with "borrowed" video games to demonstrate its danger to a room full of "authorized journalists," who will dutifully parrot back everything you say to their readers without question.

[Thanks for the initial tip to WmH]

The Path of Least Resistance

The Virginia Citizens Defense League is gearing up to boycott and perhaps picket Cole's Gun Shop, saying owner Mark Cole put their privacy in jeopardy when he agreed to let a court-appointed officer scrutinize his gun sales for the next three years.

Attorney Michael Cole, who represented his brother's shop in the settlement, says it was purely an economic decision.

"Was it going to eat into our profits and ability to make a living more to defend this case or to settle it under the terms that we were offered?" he said. "It's a no-brainer."

Yeah, no doubt it was a tough choice, and I say that with no sarcasm.

But collaborators have always had reasons to take the path of least resistance, and the Coles are now in a fix. I wouldn't want my information subjected to that sick punk Michael Bloomberg's scrutiny, either, and would take my business to a place where that doesn't happen.

Still, here's my challenge to gun owners, because the enemy is successfully playing our ranks against each other: Will we take the lead in helping out a gun store that resists and defies the Bloomberg parasites? Legal battles are expensive and protracted. The average gun store simply does not have the resources to fight one, and will make the "pragmatic" choice just to survive.

If our answer is "No," that is, if we have chosen the path of least resistance, then I don't see where we have much room to complain. The gun stores will be picked off one by one, to cave in or fold under pressure. Either way is fine with those who wish to see us disarmed.

I'd think the gun industry would want to keep their lines of supply open, and ought to take the lead in coordinating this. But I won't be surprised to find that until their bottom lines are threatened, they too will take the path of least resistance.

So rather than form a centralized organization--that might impose all kinds of objectionable eligibility standards--we should act locally. If we know of a gun store that's being extorted, talk to the owner about setting up a defense fund--then get your gun owning friends and grassroots activists involved. Figure out how much needs to be raised and come up with a plan to do it.

Or don't, and continue down the path...

This Day in History: December 10

On this day in 1778, John Jay, the former chief justice of the New York Supreme Court, is elected president of the Continental Congress. Jay, who graduated from King's College (now Columbia University) at the age of 19, was a prominent figure in New York state politics from an early age. While Jay opposed British interference in the colonies, he was against complete independence from Great Britain.