Sunday, February 07, 2010

Technically, It's Not a Stool Sample

Technically, it's a "Morford."
Posted by David Codrea at 2/07/2010 11:30:00 AM

7 comments:

MamaLiberty said...

My goodness, but he sure thinks he's clever. I do hope nobody ever goes in there and graphically acquaints him with the fact that criminals could not care less...

He, of course, would not be in any position to prevent it. And neither would any of his customers.

2/07/2010 2:07 PM
Anonymous said...

He's way more than a sample. He is a whole load.

2/07/2010 5:11 PM
Sean said...

Naw, he's pussy dressed up to LOOK like a turd.

2/08/2010 10:39 AM
Ned said...

Wow. Awesome column.

You actually believe that a sign will prevent criminals from committing criminal acts.

Amazing. We can now do away with the police, and simply post signs about what is NOT permitted.

Now all lawbreakers will not carry concealed weapons into Peets, nor will they harm any other person.

This is sheer genius. Just remember this mantra: Signs Stop Crime. Signs Stop Crime.

Be sure to carry your own sign in the event you are ever mugged. Show the mugger a "no mugging" sign. Then go merrily on your way.

Be sure to order your own "gun free zone" sign now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0vyxgJLJVA

2/08/2010 11:41 AM
WP said...

David,

Though admittedly a just a quick search, I could not find a UD reference to Morford being a stool sample (but certainly willing to now promote it as such). However, I did find that since 2006, a Morford stays at home and stares at his genitals- not sure why, but could be that a Morford's possession is quite small...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=morford

morford

a boy that is trades in fifa for pro evolution soccer, He is very law obiding and does not like to social very often. A morford tends to stay at home and look after ones reproductive organs.

Chris: have you never broken the law
Chris 2: No im a morford man

by Jack gregory smith Nov 8, 2006

2/08/2010 5:04 PM
W W Woodward said...

Note - I deleted only one word from the following paragraph.wonder what the fool would think of this version of his silly-assed little story:

"Clearly, you are a police officer. Therefore, the management, our employees and pretty much everyone within a 100-mile radius would very much appreciate it if you would put away that ego-fluffing man-toy that is designed solely to kill other living creatures and induce fear and ignorance as it regresses every hesitant advancement in the human soul back to caveman grunting lunkishness. Thank you again!"

[W-III]

2/08/2010 5:25 PM
W W Woodward said...

Sorry, folks, I just couldn't help myself. I left a comment on the Morford's toilet lid:

You don't want open carry in your presence eventhough the practice is perfectly legal. Okay, forbid police officers from open carry in your presence. That make you feel better and safer?

Require police officers to leave their guns in the car and protest Starbuck's policy of giving free coffee to officers. What? you say that practice would cause police officers to stay away from Starbucks? No kidding? Wouldn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy? No guns at all, unloaded or otherwise, should allay all your concerns for your personal safety.

You poor fools.

[W-III]

2/08/2010 5:51 PM

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