Night of the Evil Butterball

This is my traditional Thanksgiving essay, first posted in 2000 and updated every year since:

Attacks by roving flocks of wild turkeys are on the increase around suburban Boston. [More]

Time was, the turkey was considered a game bird. The Pilgrims at Plymouth are said to have feasted on them (perhaps). Generations later, Ben Franklin considered it such a useful fowl that he nominated it for the national bird.

Of course, this was in the days when the right to bear arms was taken for granted, when free people hunted turkeys for sustenance, all the while honing marksmanship skills that would serve them well in time of need.

Fast-forward to present-day Boston, a place of sacred tradition, the literal forge for our heritage of individual liberty. Except Boston is now a place where traditions have been betrayed. Its current overlords have succeeded in disarming the whole people in a way that General Gage could never have conceived possible.

So successful have these rulers been that the city that gave us Sam Adams and Paul Revere is now a city under siege, and this is fittingly ironic if you think about it, by wild turkeys. So helpless and hapless are Boston’s modern-day patriots, they can do little except retreat from the aggressive gobblers, escape, hole up and plead for rescue from the very authorities that enforce public impotence.

This is what the heirs of The Sons of Liberty have been reduced to. This is what they have allowed, and in many cases, demanded. Human beings, with dominion over the earth, scurrying from turkeys. The tolerated degradation of the masses is damned near complete.

This does not escape the notice of those who impose their tyranny upon us. What new outrage are they now free to impose? What can’t they do? After all, we’re talking about subjects who would cede their birthright to birds.

The greasy-lipped masters have to be laughing like hell as they reach across their table of plunder and rip off another drumstick…

2019 Update

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May you have as much to be thankful for as I do. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.  Now go enjoy the day.