Friday, July 08, 2005

A Hint of Bender

I listened to Homeland Security Czar (how come they never say "fuhrer"?) Michael Chertoff tell us ordinary citizens "to remain alert and to report any suspicious activity" in the wake of the London bombings.

Here's a little test. Stop what you're doing right now and see how long it takes you to find a phone number for someone at the Abteilung der Homelandsicherheit who you can report suspicious activity to.

I wonder if Mr. Chertoff has been tipped off about all those folks from God-knows-where crossing the border every day while his boss disparages those who are remaining alert and reporting suspicious activities as "vigilantes."

Aside from the blather he was droning on about, I found myself distracted by Chertoff's voice--it reminded me of someone. Now that I see his picture, I realize who.

450 Sheep Jump to Their Deaths in Turkey

"First one sheep jumped to its death. Then stunned Turkish shepherds, who had left the herd to graze while they had breakfast, watched as nearly 1,500 others followed, each leaping off the same cliff, Turkish media reported."

Shoot, we got plenty more than that trying to do the same thing right here in the USA.

"The Constitution Is What the Supreme Court Says It Is."

"Comments made by U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, in his former capacity as White House counsel, have some conservatives warning that he would be the wrong choice to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor."

And like his boss, he believes "assault weapons" should be banned.