We're the Only Ones Enticing Enough

 Maryland Heights Police officer charged with child enticement [More]

And again with the dating etiquette dilemma...

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Getting Lip Enough

A Potosi police officer who appeared in the department’s recent lip-sync challenge video has been charged with child molestation. [More]

Again with the dating etiquette dilemma...

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Not Getting Any Younger Enough

Police sergeant among 24 alleged child predators arrested in sting operation in New Jersey [More]

Again with the dating etiquette dilemma...

[Via Roger J]

We're the Only Ones Enticing Enough

Masek, 60, is charged in Barron County with child enticement-sexual contact, attempted second-degree sexual assault of a child and using a computer to facilitate a child sex crime. [More]

Has that dating etiquette question ever been resolved?

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Statutory Enough

A former Troy police officer has been sentenced to five years in prison for the statutory rape of a teenage girl. [More]

But meeting her at a pizza place adds another layer of complication to the dating etiquette dilemma.

I guess now I'll have to include Chuck E. Cheese's.

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones for the Children Enough

LAPD Chief Beck personally arrests officer on suspicion of having sex with a 15-year-old [More]

Again with the dating etiquette dilemma...

Somebody must have told ol' Charlie he'd wrung all the photo ops out of that inert tube that he was going to get -- at least for this year. I wonder how many guys he had standing beside and behind him.

We're the Only Ones Elementary Enough

Ivan Cotto is charged with criminal sexual assault for engaging in sexual acts with the victim on five different occasions between May 2015 and January 2016. The Cook County State’s attorney’s office indicates two of the assaults took place at Brentano Elementary Math and Science Academy, where the 29-year-old Cotto worked. [More]

I never did get an answer to my dating etiquette question.

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Young at Heart Enough

Manassas police officer accused of contact with minors kills himself ... The accused was also identified as a Manassas City police detective who served on the Northern Virginia-Washington D.C. Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. [More]

How "progressive": Opposite Day law enforcement!

Here's that dating etiquette question again.

Statistically, these guys appear much more of a risk than you and me. And if you want to go further down the rabbit hole, we could talk about teen boner photos and lawsuits against the truth.

Sorry, I know the MCPD is urging somber decorum, and I do feel bad for the guy's family, but I feel worse for victims of corrupt authoritarian perverts and officially armed headcases, and can't help but recall that once more, life imitates art.

[Via several of you]

We're the Only Ones Young at Heart Enough

On Saturday in Rothschild, investigators say Dorr brought her to a wedding reception for two fellow Lincoln County officers. "And in front of a room of law enforcement coworkers, the defendant gave this 15-year-old alcohol and made out with her," said Molly Lawrence, an assistant district attorney for Marathon County, in court. [More]

Again with the dating etiquette question...

[Via Sean Y]

We're the Only Ones Conducting Enough

BPD 'Officer of the Year' Charged With Lewd Conduct [More]

Again, with the eternal dating etiquette question...

[Via Neil W]

We're the Only Ones Reprehensible Enough

“This man engaged in sexual relations with an underage girl while on duty,” said Bruning. “Today’s sentence ensures he is held accountable for his reprehensible crime.” [More]

And yet once more with that darn dating etiquette question...

We're the Only Ones Uncontesting Enough

A Los Angeles police officer charged in May with luring two young girls to his home pleaded no contest today to sexually molesting one girl and attempting to molest the second child, the District Attorney’s Office announced. [More]

You'll have to forgive me since it's been over half a century since I hung out with girls under 10. What's the dating etiquette again...?

[Via Florida Guy]

We're the Only Ones Through with Dating Enough

A Santa Maria police officer was shot and killed Saturday by a fellow officer who was trying to arrest him for suspected sexual misconduct with a minor...[More]

So I guess the answer to the Eternal Question for "Only One"/juvenile courtship etiquette died with him...

We're the Only Ones Young at...uh...Heart Enough

A former Crescent City police officer admitted to a judge Tuesday that he was a pedophile and molested hundreds of children. [More]

Man that's a lot of...I always get the dating etiquette for these stories confused...Big Kids Meals or Happy Meals...?

[Via Ron W]

We're the Only Ones Exposed Enough

A former Wyoming Highway Patrol trooper was sentenced Wednesday to serve four to seven years in prison for exposing himself to a 5-year-old girl. [More]

And I still don't have an answer to my related dating etiquette question...

[Via hazmat]

We're the Only Ones Youth-Oriented Enough

The Silverton police officer who shot and killed an Irish citizen while responding to a burglary complaint last month has been jailed on accusations he sexually abused a girl, Marion County authorities said.

Another "Only One" with the dating etiquette dilemma: when you take her out to dinner, do you buy her a Big Kid's Meal or a Happy Meal?

[Via Zachary G]