Friday, May 30, 2008

Welcome to the BATFU Building!

ATF Dedicates Its New National Headquarters

Award-Winning Design Incorporates Latest Federal Security Standards
We talked yesterday about the grand unveiling.

Funny. The BATFU press release doesn't say anything about the $19 Million in cost overruns. Oh, here's why--they replaced a $65,000 conference table with one that only cost half that. Besides, look at what they're considering scaling back on.

Still, with all the hoopla, I thought it would be nice to see what our tax dollars are paying for. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new BATFU Building:


Wait...that isn't right. OK, let's try this...


What th...??? I wonder if this morning's computer glitch is still messing things up...OK, let's try it one more time and...VOILA!


Sa-ay...nice digs! I'd want to wear my good man slacks and bubble wrap hat if I worked there. And they sublease to retail tenants? How are they going to maintain "latest federal security standards" with all that going on?

Maybe after Heller is decided, someone'll open up a gun shop.

Oh, and there's one more photo--this one from the press conference. Why that looks like "Maximum Mike," and I do believe he's addressing the reporters from behind that $32,500 conference table...


Is it just me, or does that design on the back wall look like a giant Leatherman tool?

UPDATE: This photograph that I found on a couple other websites looks quite a bit different than the architectural illustration.

16 comments:

chris horton said...

Good one. I wonder if we the people that paid for it can stop in for a tour.

And speaking of the "leatherman" tool. I see in the latest issue of Guns Magazine, the NRA ad on page 69 has the new marketing gimick.

Join now for the embosed "multi-tool." Special "election year" member fee of 25 bucks.

Prepare for the Storm in 2008. Where have they been? It's just NOW STARING TO STORM? %$#@ +!@$#!!!!.....

Anonymous said...

David, sometimes I cannot stop laughing long enough to get through your entire post. Now stop being so damn funny. Seriously, sometimes I'll be laughing so hard and someone will walk into my office and ask what's so funny. For just a second, I think about telling them and then realize they would just stare at me like I was from Mars.

Anonymous said...

I know there are restricted flight rules over DC, but has anybody checked to see if a Hawker Hunter Typhoon's wingtips can fit between the buildings? I.E., is it "Tiffy proof?" "Jest kiddin'," as they say in Winston County. ;-)

GunRights4US said...

The absolute ULTIMATE slap in the face of America's founders!

A gigantic edifice of concrete and steel, the sole purpose of which is to trample rights guaranteed in the Bill of Rights, all funded with taxpayer dollars fleeced from the citizenry!

Evil %^$#@&* 's

Anonymous said...

...has anybody checked to see if a Hawker Hunter Typhoon's wingtips can fit between the buildings? I.E., is it "Tiffy proof?" "Jest kiddin'...."

Kiddin', schmiddin', someone Photoshop this with an A-10. With a Gadsden rattlesnake on the tail. ;)

Anonymous said...

Anyone have an A10 I can borrow?

Seriously though, I hope that building meets a fiery end.

Bunch of murderers...


C.H.

Anonymous said...

LOL. Jeffersonian..

I just read your post. Seems we are thinking on the same page. :)

You know, I am a Gamer, and really wish Crysis was as good as it was hyped to be because if it was I would have upgraded my system and bought it.

Why? Because it has good MODing opportunities. The developers even made a deal with Softimage, so that a free version of their $4000.00 modeling program could be downloaded and used to create game assets.

Imagine using the Cyrtek2 engine for anti-ATF goodness. You could get the layout of ATF's new building(can these be obtained with a FOIA request?) and replicate it ingame. Do what you wished with it. :P Personally, I'd go for a Tom Clancy Rainbow Six styled gameplay with a storyline rich in what "our people"(the right-wing, pro-gun, militia-types) have gone through and would like to see in our future.

It would be a great educational assault on the masses to. Media(movies and games) do play a role in influencing people.


C.H.

Anonymous said...

Orwell's Ministry of Love (which concerned itself with torture and re-education), Ministry of Peace (which handled Big Brother's war against his own people) and Ministry of Truth (in charge of propaganda) all in one building.

Anonymous said...

Actually a COMPOUND of THREE buildings plus that colonnade with a park on top for those relaxing walks to get the stink of burning kids out of your nose.
From one angle it looks like the Jefferson Institute from "Coma."
It's a monument, ladies and gentlemen. And like any monument, it needs a nickname.

Anonymous said...

With all those weird asymmetrical angles, it could be the Temple of Cthulhu.

Anonymous said...

Doom V - Patriot Edition.

:)

Anonymous said...

"Doom V - Patriot Edition."

;)

I made an ATFAgent Terrorist "skin" for Counter-Strike 1.0-1.6.

Was in the proccess of making map "ch_minutemen" for it(VIP as gunowner; Ts as ATF; CTs as intervening militia members), but I extended past the engine's capabilities. Dang. Never finished.

If the day comes where the next GOOD CS/Clancy game comes out with MOD tools, I'll be trying again.


C.H.

Anonymous said...

Q: Has anybody Google Earthed "99 New York Ave., N.E., Washington DC" to see what this monstrous waste of the taxpayer dollar actually looks like? I can't get it to work on my home computer.

Anonymous said...

Mike,

I am looking at it now. GE isn't always 100% accurate. I don't see anything reassembling that abomination.

Mabey GE hasn't updated their maps in a long while(I know they haven't updated my zone in more than a year), or I am looking in the wrong place.

There does appear to be some kind of construction site. No way to tell for sure.

Want a pic?


C.H.

Anonymous said...

As I read the clip from the NYT I thought, aas usual, that they ought to report something correctly occasionally even when they're seriously prejudiced against the subject. Perhaps they could learn that there are no bars in Virginia although plenty of restaurants hold ABC licenses for on-premises sale and consumption.

I haven't seen the ATF building because in DC, about 15 miles from my burg, has attracted me during the 23 years since I retired. (My final "resting place" was in the all-night Peoples Drug building ovelooking glorious 14th Street.

Back in the '70s I had plenty of close-up look s at the similarly purposed new FBI HQ on Pennsylvania with its seamless concrete panels reaching well above sidewalk level. A companion remarked once, gestuirng at the panels as we walked by, "Look! Higher than a hippy can jump." the G-men at least were protected from being stoned, so to speakderies.

Ed said...

No need to Google Earth, just Google that address, then click on "Maps", then select "Satellite". It is identified as the "Randolph Shepherd Vfp Facility". You can get a burger at "5 Guys" at the Northeast corner of the building.