Alligator Problem? Call Tom Lyons

I mean, heck, the gator was barely 3 feet long, if that.

Though Frey is disabled and uses a cane to get around, she wouldn't expect to lose a fight to the death with a gator that small.

All it needs to do is sever an artery and she could have bled to death, Tom. Why on earth would a human choose to "fight to the death" with an animal, when we have tools that can give us instant mastery of the situation?

And you know what, Tom? Golden retrievers aren't small dogs. They instinctively know how to hunt, and this one was reluctant to attack. What did a dog know that you apparently don't, sitting in witless, smug judgment in your cubicle?

As for calling instead of defending herself, three women have been killed by alligators in the past week, and the hotline is "swamped." But you're one of those "Dial 911" types, aren't you, Tom? So I'm sure you won't mind pointing out to your readers the Florida law that makes state wildlife officers liable if they fail to protect a citizen's life?

What, you can't? They have no legal duty to do this, with consequences should they fail?

And what about if she had run away to call and the reptile had snatched a toddler?

Some of us won't cede our birthright to animals, Tom, including the 2-legged kind.

Tell you what, you self-impressed snot: Let's see you go after a 3-foot aggressive gator barehanded. Or better yet, a 2-foot possum, or a 1-foot rat.

I mean, heck, working at a major newspaper, you shouldn't have any problem finding large rats...