But as a progressive, I would sooner lay my child to rest than succumb to the belief that the use of a gun for self-defense is somehow not in itself a gun crime. [More]All these centuries of progress, to fight to survive and perpetuate, and we finally get to the point where the physically weak aren't necessarily prey for the physically strong. Then math teacher Doug here figures out the equation for setting things back to stone age conditions. And he calls that "progressive."
One thing is for certain--if this contemptible wretch won't protect his own children, you can be certain he won't protect yours. Why would you entrust them to such a defective specimen?
He'd rather his kid were dead than to allow reality to intrude on his precious belief system. If there's a better definition for "fanatic," I haven't seen it. Except we're using Newspeak now, aren't we?
The fanatics are the ones who disagree with him.
UPDATE: After reading this, my opinion is that I failed to see the satire.
[Via Brian F]
15 comments:
I love this part "it unfairly rewards resourceful children who move to safety off-site more shrewdly and efficiently than others."
I guess it might hurt the self esteem of those who weren't smart enough to get away.
From the article: "a level barrel is fair to all fish"!!
This has to be satire. Either that, or the author is deeply disturbed.
"A level barrel is fair to all fish." That's a pretty clear reference to "shooting fish in a barrel". Maybe the letter is satire at that.
I grew up at the time that "progressive" was code for "communist". I want nothing to do with either one!
Quote from Crotalus:
I grew up at the time that "progressive" was code for "communist".
It still means the same thing. You must understand that "progress" is defined, by communists/socialists as the advance of the communist cause, or the advance toward the ultimate end which is "World Peace". World Peace is defined as the end of all opposition to communism.
So, communists/socialists are progressive, and those who oppose them are "reactionary". I proudly wear the title Reactionary. You mess with me, I'm gonna react. You leave me alone and we may get along.
I think I will forgive you David, for not realizing it was satire. What he wrote is so realistically representative of the arguments we get from those who would disarm us it would be easy to think this was another person who was dead serious.
We don't believe them when they sat crap like that because we are very proficient in the use of the Progressive/English translation dictionary. For instance in the letter he writes, "But as a progressive, I would sooner lay my child to rest than succumb ..." Well, for those of us who have been in this thing for a long time we automatically translate that to real English to define the real meaning. Translated it means "As a progressive, I would sooner hire you and your child killed than tolerate your being able to defend yourselves from me and my agenda."
I expect that is what happened to you when you failed to realize it was satire. It is just so closely true as to be almost indiscernable from a serious attempt by a progressive to convince us to go gently into that good night.
I think my initial reaction was colored by his using an identical argument to Gun Banning Christian's (by the way, that link is still on occasion routing to the wrong Examiner). But then when I looked up his name and found that piece on diversity, I came to believe we're dealing with a wicked wit.
Should have known a mathematician would know how to add.
I'm reading the comments and I'm scared. Quite a few people seem to think his satire isn't that outlandish. Many Americans really are at the level of Miss South Carolina. And they get to tell us what to do.
Monumentally stupid--which is why as likely as I consider this guy being a satirist, it would not surprise me to find out he's serious.
I wonder what untold damage that retired teacher twit did during her stint at the trough?
if he's from quincy, i wouldn't be too sure.
NES users have picked up a bunch more of his words, and they're divided over this.
if satire, it's the best i have seen in a very, very long time.
Sounds like he may be the Letter-to-the-Editor/text version of 'Jake Byrd'...
http://www.theinsider.com/videos/367940_OJ_Simpson_s_Biggest_Fan_Jake_Byrd
Patrice Stanton, Keller TX
A fledgling Jonathan Swift. Pretty proficient at stirring the Sh*t, isn't he?
After many years of ignorant, vicious, unthinking, stupid attacks on my rights, I also tend to be somewhat paranoid and overly defensive and am quite capable of failing to immediately recognize satire for what it is.
Hopefully, Van Gorder's mini-essay will pry some antis' navel shutters open and allow a little light to enter. Probably too much to hope for.
[W-III]
I meant to say that in my earlier post, Longbow. Yes, it still means that to me, as well as many others, I see.
Satire.
For Doug Van Gorder's take on the Fort Hood mass shooting, diversity and progressiveness, see a Letter to the Editor in the Tuesday, December 29, 2009 edition of "Stars & Stripes":
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=125&article=6616
Definitely satire.
The following is a Letter to the Editor published in the December 21, 2009 edition of the Quincy Patriot Ledger on waterboarding and globalism:
http://www.patriotledger.com/opinions/x1599182255/YOUR-OPINION-Better-to-spread-rights-than-to-hoard-them
Oh yeah... definitely satire.
Here is a Doug Van Gorder Letter to the Editor in the August 3, 2008 edition of The Cape Cod Times on the shooting by a Yarmouth police officer:
http://www.capecodonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080803/OPINION/808030349/-1/rss08
BTW, I made an error in one of my previous comment. The waterboarding letter was in the 11/18/09 "Stars & Stripes".
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