Plastic Fantastic

Models from the world's first agency for 'modified humans' have spent $3 MILLION between them on surgery to look like characters such as a Ken doll, Britney Spears and an ALIEN [More]

Based on the pictures, I'd want my money back.

I guess it ain't right to judge pursuit of happiness, but jeez. Why does the death of the West come to mind?

I once had work done by a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.

I was horsing around/wrestling with elder feral son Uday when he was about 10 or so, and decided he'd earned a tickle. Big mistake. The foot lashed out to my nose as a reflex and it sounded like chicken bones splintering -- the wife heard it clear on the other side of the house and came running.

She was crying, he was crying, everybody was crying but me, because I was busy holding him and consoling him and letting him know that it wasn't his fault and I wasn't mad at him.

Bottom line, the Beverly Hills guy is who the insurance sent me to for repair work.  It was funny walking around in public with the bandages on and both eyes bruised black and green from internal bleeding -- funny because I got some looks that registered disapproval based on the presumption that I was someone who gets into fights, and the further presumption that I lose them.

At least that's what I presumed.

I was standing in front of the mirror inspecting the damage, concerned because the dressing under my nose pushed it up like a pug, and I was afraid I wouldn't recognize myself when the bandages came off.

"He better not have made me look like Meg Ryan!" I complained, and it took a second to understand why the wife thought that was funny.

[Via Steve T]