We're the Only Ones Filial Enough

Former St. Louis Police Chief Sam Dotson said he was shocked to hear about a four-page indictment laying out federal charges of wire fraud and embezzlement against him mother. [More]

There's a spot in me heart which no collen may own...

And Chief Dotson? I'm shocked, shocked...

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Undercompensated Enough

Dotson said the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department is losing about three officers every two weeks and he contributes a lot of this to the fact that they can’t offer a competitive salary. [More]

Can they really afford to lose the city's finest...?

Gee, and here I thought this public records inquiry into lawsuits brought against SLMPD might have something to do with available funds, but it turns out they "have no records responsive to [the] request"...

[Via bondmen]

This Blood's for You

With the Cardinals on the verge of clinching the division, there is an new focus on safety outside Busch Stadium. This comes after gun violence left a House Springs man paralyzed after Friday`s game. [More]

Yeah, it's the fault of "gun violence." Hell of a reporting job there. And thanks to Busch Stadium's "focus on safety," the victim -- who gave the monster "what he wanted" -- did not have the means of defense to dissuade the execution attempt.

If it's any consolation, Chief Dotson made it home safely at the end of his shift.

[Via bondmen]

We Have Established What You Are, Chief Dotson

We are now merely haggling over the price. [More]

We're the Only Ones Under-Valued Enough

Sgt. Heather Taylor, president of the Ethical Society of Police, said that it was “not an easy thing to do” but that “We feel exhausted and under-valued ... when 82 percent of the lieutenants that have been promoted don’t look like you.” [More]

And we all know how important appearances über alles can be!

Enjoy the fruits of "progressivism," Chief Dotson. You've earned them.

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Livid Enough

St. Louis Mayor, Francis Slay, and Police Chief, Sam Dotson, were livid. [More]

Yeah, don't you know where your unalienable rights come from? Who the hell are you to challenge their withholding of them?

[Via bondmen]

We're the Only Ones Rosy Enough

Hey, put that "uptick in homicides in context." [More]

Shoplifting's down some.

Besides, Dotson's "Have Fun Without Guns" slogan is almost as inspiring as "Whip Inflation Now" and "Just Say No."

And every bit as effective.

[Via Rich S]

We're the Only Ones All-Seeing Enough

Why would you need a gun to proactively defend yourself when we have a pretty good chance or chronicling your murder if it happens in front of one of our cameras? [More]

What? Me, the great Chief Dotson, carry a camera instead of a gun?  Are you nuts?  Besides, I'm a highly-trained snowflake.

[Via Florida Guy]