Whammer Jammer

What do remote-control garage door openers have to do with national security? A lot, it seems.

A secretive U.S. air force facility in Colorado Springs, Colo., tested a radio frequency this past week that it would use to communicate with first responders in the event of a homeland security threat.

But the frequency also controls an estimated 50 million garage door openers, and hundreds of residents in the surrounding area found their garage doors had suddenly stopped working.

Strengthen your jamming signal, and I'll bet you can put a stop to all kinds of subversive or just plain pesky communications...

So why not add frequency jamming capabilities for civilian guns--you know, the "smart" kind with electronics they tell us will save all those lives that we could soon be mandated to own. After all, the authorities need to be able to control things in times of emergency. Who could possibly be against that, unless they're up to no good?

And hey, here's another idea--once we all get those Tommy Thompson chips embedded in our foreheads, they can usher in a whole new era of domestic tranquility.

In the mean time, here's hoping they don't screw up too many pacemakers...