Get this playing in the background before reading on.
Thousands of Oak Park residents are being equipped with a simple device to help fight crime in the village.And if that doesn't work, you can always
Police are passing out whistles that they are urging citizens to blow if they are victims of or witnesses to a crime. [More]
1. Vomit
2. Surrender
3. Scream (while poking with "a rat tail comb")
4. Pull the covers over your head.
Leave it to Illinois "Only Ones" to expect us to whistle past the graveyard of history.
I don't suppose they'd go along with us taking away their guns and giving them the damn whistles.
Note the cud-chewers who think it's a good idea. You have to admit, calling someone a Niznik sounds about right.
Also note how "Officers are willing to take that chance..."
With our lives, of course, not their own.
Note to Park Police Cmdr. Keenan Williams and Police Chief Rick Tanksley: Go blow yourselves.
[Via Carl B and Mama Liberty]
2 comments:
No legal concealed carry in Illinois.
This whistle recommendation reminds me of a story my dad told me about an experience in the Navy during WW-II.
It seems that exotic woods removed from private yachts that had been commandeered by the government for the Navy and Coast Guard had been placed into large piles to be burned. Sailors were assigned watch duty on these piles of wood to prevent pilferage. The sailors were equipped with a nightstick, a flashlight, and a whistle. They were not otherwise armed.
Dad said that he made it quite clear to the officer who sent him out to the wood pile that the whistle would be useless to him. He said that he planned to throw the baton at any thieves that might show up, maybe the flashlight as well, and he planned to save his breath for running, not blowing a whistle.
[W-III]
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