Friday, January 06, 2012

Dammit, Jim, I'm a Witch Doctor, Not a Logician!

If we have to have a television approach to the use of guns, let's move from the "Gunsmoke" approach to a "Star Trek" one.
DR. DENNIS COGSWELL
RADFORD [More]
An Ed.D., naturally. They're generally kind of prickly on insisting being called "Doctor." What, after reading his cowardly nonsense, you didn't think this charlatan understood anything useful besides showing up at chow time, did you?

Why do I picture the dean yelling "COGSWELLLL!!! GET IN HERE!" and him running in ready to nervously toady and wheedle?

Still, he can help you find your soul (do regressives even believe in those?)

I'm not lookin' for my soul, Doc, but maybe you can help me find some sense in your Star Trek vs. Gunsmoke philosophy?  And you do recall what General Trelane said when he first beheld a phaser?
"Oh how marvelous! Devastating! Why this could kill millions!" 
What's your argument? Cops are the "Only Ones"  professional enough to carry guns? The trained professional who was killed was a cop? Cops shouldn't carry guns? Or just the rest of us?

Most illogical.

Beam this hostile alien life form out of here, Scotty. And launch a quarantine beacon to warn passing vessels.

[Via Mack H]

2 comments:

W W Woodward said...

Has anyone bothered to check into “DR.” DENNIS COGSWELL’s academic background? Is it possible that he earned a full boat athletic scholarship as a high school football jock? His public school English grammar teachers should be spinning in the limited confines of their graves.

Many years ago I had a Philosophy professor, who had earned an old school PhD, refuse to answer to the title "doctor". He said that because PhD's were being passed out in an indiscriminate willy nilly manner the title no longer meant anything and deserved no respect.

[W3]

Mack said...

My favorite "Bones" line is:
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/I%27m_a_doctor,_not_a...

"I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."

And I never heard of the "Sulu" Retreat. Or is it "Selu" whatever.

And, does he encourage adults to act like children?

http://www.theadultchild.com/dr-cogswells-professional-vitae.html