Mike Noland's Security Blanket

I can get away with this here at WarOnGuns because it is parody, fair use, and a not-for-profit exercise in free political speech.

I probably couldn't post it here.

Perhaps we ought to start referring to Mike Noland as either "Linus" or "The Great Pumpkin" and see if we can spread it around enough to where it sticks. If anyone deserves to be ridiculed, it's this...uh...thumbsucker.

IL Government Advice for Stalked Women: Clutch a Security Blanket

Let's recap on the official position of the state of Illinois for women who want to defend themselves:

Vomit.

Surrender.

Scream.

And now you offer them the option to pull a blanket over their heads and hope the monsters won't get them? [More]

I put out a second Gun Rights Examiner column today to address a prime example of outrageous, insulting hypocrisy from the tyrants who run Illinois.

Tell a friend?

We're the Only Ones with a Forceful Presence Enough

Officers from at least four police departments surrounded federal agent James Sirbaugh in Bridgeport Thursday after his presence in Belmont County forced the lockdown of the entire St. Clairsville-Richland City School District. [More]

Be nice if there was a local police response every time a BATFU thug entered our communities. It would be nicer if that response wasn't limited to "Only Ones."

[Via William T]

By What Right?

MOWCA continues asking questions about national disarmament. [More]

A True Alternative?

Really?

I didn't see a contact form or edress on his campaign website, so I went to his "Get Involved" form and when they asked "what kind of tasks [I'd] like to volunteer for," entered:

I'd like to volunteer to determine if Dave Yost really is a "true alternative" for "Friends of the Second Amendment." To that end, I've got some questions designed to evoke unequivocal answers to determine this. I intend to share his response--or lack of one--with my readers.

Then I asked my questions.

We shall see.

The Naked Gun

Naked 91-year-old holds burglar at gunpoint [More]

I wonder how many other bloggers used this same title, here me thinking I'm being original and all...

[Via Mama Liberty]

We're the Only Ones Appealing Enough

A Virginia Beach DUI enforcement officer is appealing his conviction on drunken driving and hit and run charges. [More]

Well of course he is. "Only One" more for the road 'n all that...

[Via ZGeorge]

Threeperware v2.0

Western Rifle Shooters Association has some swag upgrades. [More]

I also just received this update on the patches:

As of 9/21/09, all "III Patch" orders received by Raven's Wood have been fulfilled. The Woodland patch is out of stock and has been re-ordered. Any order received from 9/22/09 for Woodland will be held until the patches come in and then fulfilled in the order received.

3 Color Desert Patches are still available and orders for the 3 color will be processed normally.

Ordering information:

Send $4 per patch, post paid, in a USPS money order, Certified or Cashier's check (orders with personal and/or business checks held until cleared - approximately 10 business days) to:

Raven's Wood Enteprises, LLC
PO Box 962
Birmingham, MI 48012

AZ Senate Candidate Jim Deakin Deserves Gun Owner Support

Another candidate for office has responded to the Gun Rights Political Questionnaire, Jim Deakin, who is challenging incumbent John McCain. Here are his answers. [More]

Today's Gun Rights Examiner column profiles another candidate for office who is not afraid to give unequivocal answers to let us know where he stands on RKBA.

Also get the latest from my fellow GREs.

Tell a friend?

This Day in History: September 22

The distressed situation of the Army for want of blankets and many necessary articles of Clothing, is truly deplorable; and must inevitably be destructive to it, unless a speedy remedy be applied. Without a better supply than they at present have, it will be impossible for the Men to support the fatigues of the campaign in the further progress of the approaching inclement season. This you well know to be a Melancholy truth. [More]

Darren Yancy Answers Gun Rights Questionnaire

We've seen two Republican contenders for Chet Edwards' 17th Texas Congressional District seat respond to the Gun Rights Questionnaire. A third has also responded, and, unlike his rivals, provided the specific answers requested: Darren Yancy. [More]

I posted a third Gun Rights Examiner column because I finally got someone from the 17th District Congressional race in Texas who would answer the questions instead of giving me boilerplate.

Chuck Wilson Responds to Gun Rights Questionnaire

Reader reaction to what they perceived as non-responsiveness did not appear to help Mr. Curnock's cause. But he's not the only candidate in the 17th. I also approached Chuck Wilson...[More]

Today's second Gun Rights Examiner column continues exploring Republican alternatives for a Texas congressional race I've been following.

Also get the latest from my fellow GREs.

Tell a friend?

We're the Only Ones Making Ourselves at Home Enough

Four former members of a now-disbanded Chicago police unit admitted Friday to taking part in a brazen scheme in which they barged into homes and stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from suspected drug dealers and others — once after withholding insulin from a diabetic man until he told them where to find the cash. [More]

What's the rationale for them being the "Only Ones" again...?

Forget it Jake, it's Chi-Town.

[Via ZGeorge]

Cutting to the Chase

Or more like cutting the chase altogether. Even foot chases. [More]

Can't risk our "Only Ones" getting hurt. It's not like we have any obligation to protect you.

What an idiot. What an incompetent.

The crime index in Wellford for 2007 was 470.8, compared to a U.S. average of 320.9 (per 100,000). Officers per 1,000 residents was 1.82 compared to the 3.0 U.S. city average. Their incomes are lower than the state average, as are their property values...

But an incident requiring a pursuit can never happen in Wellford.

Now if she really wants to save the taxpayers some money...

Be an interesting "Twilight Zone" twist to have someone chasing her shrieking ass, and watch the observing cops just sit back and take another sip of coffee because they're forbidden to run after anyone.

[Via Harvey]

We're the Only Ones Enjoying the Perks of Office Enough

Former Holland Police Chief Kevin P. Gleason was sentenced to two years in prison yesterday after pleading guilty to charges he pocketed money from 16 town-bought guns and rifles he sold, many to police officers in other communities.

Mr. Gleason, 47, also admitted taking $2,190 from an evidence locker to which only he had access. The money had been seized in a drug arrest. [More]

Two years for this corrupt "Only One" hypocrite scum, who would send you or me up the river in a heartbeat for doing what he did.

I compare this to six-and-a-half years for Wayne Fincher and what I feel is best left unwritten.

[Via Harvey]

A Security Blanket

“We don’t want the citizens of Illinois to feel afraid, and then feel as though their fear isn’t enough for us to want to protect them – this legislation should provide a blanket of comfort to those who have to deal with these issues,” Noland said. [More]

And if that doesn't work, you can always vomit, surrender or scream.

Forget reality, how do you feel?

These obscene, sick bastards.

And the stupid cud-chewers who keep them in power...

[Via An Illinois Voter]

Cash for Klunkers

Purchase a new SIG SAUER® P220®, P226®, P229®, 1911, SIG556 pistol, or SIG556 rifle from your dealer’s inventory from September 7th through November 30th, 2009, and SIG SAUER will give you $200.00 for your old KLUNKER* pistol or revolver. [More]

Pretty creative marketing...and a pretty nice in-your-face to the antis...

[Via Plug Nickel Times]

We're the Only Ones Epic Fail, but Sweet Enough

Police firearms teacher who shot civilian with Magnum in classroom had 'failed instructor course' [More]

Not just a Sarah Brady Paradise "Only One" but a Thames Valley Sarah Brady Paradise "Only One."

You know, the ones who are "not obliged"...?

Oh, and just in case you don't know what a "Quality Street tin" that "not obliged Sarah Brady paradise Thames Valley Only Ones" store ammunition in...

[Via Jeffersonian and Jeet]

We're the Only Ones Suffering from a Rash Enough

FBI Agent's Weapons Stolen During Rash of Break-Ins...

That FBI agent had a MP5 submachine gun, .45-caliber semiautomatic handgun and LAR-15 semiautomatic rifle stolen from his vehicle. [More]

But no harm, no foul, because he "followed ['Only Ones'] protocol," which I guess means they have an official procedure for putting "guns on the street."

[Via William T]

Putin's Man in Washington

The Militia of Washington County sees dangers and motives in nuclear disarmament. [More]