Saturday, May 10, 2008

We're the Only Ones Statistical Enough

[W]hen they do fire, even at an armed suspect, there is often no one returning fire at the officers. Officers hit their targets roughly 34 percent of the time.

When they fire at dogs, roughly 55 percent of shots hit home...

Officers’ guns go off unintentionally or by accident for a variety of reasons: wrestling with suspects, cleaning the weapons, leaning on holsters — even once, in 1996, when a gun was put in an oven for safekeeping.

I wonder what'll happen with the averages now that "Operation Torch" will be joining the "Hercules Teams" on full auto?

This does give me an idea, though: "Only Ones" cards--like baseball cards--there's a piece of unpalatable gum in the pack along with collecting/trading cards--a picture of "Only One"/affiliation on the front, a short bio and stats on the back...

Collect 'em all!

[Via Brian F]

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

The Only Ones Cards is a hilarious idea. I actually think that virtual cards would be a good idea, too. They could even be organized on a web page like the most-wanted posters put out by law enforcement.

It is nice being able to associate a face with a name on these Only Ones stories.

Anonymous said...

Heh! Don't forget the BATFU agent at Red's. You know, the one with the *ahem* "shadow" on her pants?

Anonymous said...

Watch out you don't cross that "Courtroom Protection Act of 2005" line that the Marshal warned us all about.

After all, mockery, parody, sarcasm, irony, and satire are all forms of threatening behavior and intimidation when used against "Only Ones," aren't they?

And isn't that the same as "lifting a finger?"

I wonder how Lee Paige's lawsuit against the DEA is going.

Anonymous said...

David, you crack me up. And god knows I need a good laugh these days.

Great idea on the cards. Of course, to really get a full deck, we'd need for the PTB to release the identities of those who remain un-named.

crotalus, hey, these are playing card size, not billboards.

I'll bet David can name the movie and character for this sound clip, which I don't recommend playing at work.

David Codrea said...

"So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

..."1-2-3-4-5? That's the combination on my luggage!"

Anonymous said...

Heh heh.

Of course, these days, it doesn't matter what the combination is on your TSA-approved luggage lock is anyway.