An Only Ones in Love Trifecta

We're the Only Ones Chatty Enough

Authorities say an Ocala police veteran was charged with trying to solicit a 14-year-old girl over the Internet and sending her offensive material.

The burning question--if she'd gone out with him, would he have bought her a Happy Meal or a Big Kids Meal?

[Via Wm H]

We're the Only Ones Digital Enough

While en route to the police station, Torres began a sexually frank discussion with the woman, the charging papers state. Torres allegedly took the woman to a Federal Way weigh station and parked his patrol car. He told her he had previously had sex there with other women he had arrested and then proceeded to fondle her breasts and raped her with his finger, according to the charging papers.

I've heard of fingering a suspect, but this is ridiculous.

We're the Only Ones Getting a Grip Enough

The two women said they hesitatingly complied, and performed oral sex on their male companions for about 15 minutes, police reported...The 25-year-old said she asked to step out of the vehicle to urinate. The officer allegedly shined a flashlight on her as she did so and she said she noticed he was masturbating.

And here he was thinking he'd get off easy...

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