Cheeseburger in Paradise

A double cheeseburger can change someone's life, said Celeste Noe, a juvenile probation officer for Cuyahoga County.

The yellow-and-red fast-food gift cards that Noe doles out have been the incentive for some to stop ditching out on their court-ordered curfew.

Burgers? That's all it takes for us to live forever more in Kumbaya harmony? Actually, getting juvenile predators fat and out of shape might not be such a bad idea...

Thing is, somebody ought to tell 'em in LA their fast food ban is going about it wrong. Then again, if not for banning things and then exploiting the predictably bad results, what would petty tyrants do?