Thursday, April 08, 2010

Bumper Sticker Logic

Dennis Henigan, Vice President for Law and Policy at the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence, systematically analyzes and dismantles the simple, effective slogans that the disciplined messaging of the gun lobby has burned into the consciousness of the American people. Henigan dissects the superficial appeal of such catch-phrases as “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people,” “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns,” “An armed society is a polite society,” and other simplistic themes that have come to dominate the perennial debate over the role of guns in American society. [More]
That's the good thing about writing your own press release--it makes you sound like you've actually got science and reason on your side, doesn't it?

As long as we're doing bumper sticker slogans, here's some the Brady cud chewers (talk about "superficial") can use:

NO GUNS IN THIS HOUSE--EVER

I'M UNARMED. PLEASE DON'T HURT ME

JUST GIVE ATTACKERS WHAT THEY WANT

KEEP KIDS SAFE BY TEACHING THEM AVOIDANCE AND IGNORANCE

REPEAT A LIE LONG ENOUGH AND IT BECOMES THE TRUTH

THERE'S A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE

Etc.

Feel free to suggest more slogans in "Comments".

8 comments:

LC Scotty said...

"I'VE GOT A WHISTLE AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT"

"BACK OFF OR I'LL PUKE ON YOU"

"IN CASE OF EMERGENCY HIDE UNDER BLANKET"

We frequently hear people scoff at the notion that guns don't kill people, people kill people. I've even heard it suggested by an anti that if this we so, why don't we send soldiers to war without guns, since the guns don't kill. My reply?

Tools don't fix cars, mechanics fix cars. If you want to take your car to a mechanic that has no tools, be my guest.

dlr said...

I posted this in their comment section.

Seen on George Washington's bumper...

"A free people ought to be armed."

jon said...

while they're busy keeping themselves in denial, i think a good bumpersticker for them would be "CECI N'EST PAS UNE AUTO."

Unknown said...

How could you forget the ever-popular,
"GUN FREE ZONE: GUNS DISALLOWED UNLESS ONE IS ALREADY A CRIMINAL"

or maybe "DON'T RAPE ME - I'LL URINATE ON YOU!"

or the patriotic "DISARMING IS YOUR DUTY AS A SERVANT OF THE GOVERNMENT"

Well, that last one wasn't too catchy, but it's the message that's important, right?

Anonymous said...

"All power comes from the barrel of a gun, and we will control all the guns."

Many people have heard the first part of Mao's statement but not the last part.

Kevin Wilmeth said...

Sure, I'll suggest a couple of slogans for our Brady Bunch friends. How about these:

DISABILITY CHECKS FOR HOPLOPHOBES!

GUN CONTROL: IF TEN THOUSAND TIMES YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN--THIS TIME FOR SURE!

NO, I DON'T SEE THE IRONY IN CALLING EVERYONE THAT DOESN'T BELIEVE LIKE I DO, PARANOID. WHY?

LOOK, GET THIS STRAIGHT: "IF IT SAVES JUST ONE LIFE" DOESN'T MEAN YOURS.

GUN CONTROL: BECAUSE A BLACK MAN WITH AN AR-15 SLUNG ON HIS BACK IS SCARIER THAN SENDING A MILITARY TEAM TO HIS HOUSE TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM.

GUN CONTROL: BECAUSE EVERY OTHER LIFE FORM IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE HAS IT WRONG ABOUT SELF-DEFENSE.

GUN CONTROL FOR SOCIAL ORDER: TENS OF MILLIONS OF GOVERNMENT-PRODUCED CORPSES CAN'T BE WRONG.

GUN CONTROL: BECAUSE TORTURE, COLLATERAL DAMAGE AND OTHER WAR ATROCITIES WORK SO WELL OVERSEAS, WE SHOULD KEEP ALL OPTIONS ON THE TABLE FOR OUR DOMESTIC ENFORCEMENT TOO.

One could go on.

TJP said...

Old half-truth Henigan: I guess he ran out of ideas, so he's stealing ours. Problem is, it's much easier for us because we don't have to worry about keeping track of half-truths, lies, or data that we've omitted.

That means I can never be caught off guard, or ruin my argument with "misspoken" words.

I sleep better at night knowing that I've never fabricated or exaggerated any statistic I've presented in the defense of my philosophy.

Don't you?

Anonymous said...

The one bumper sticker I have says "Where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?" Enough said.