We're the Only Ones Youth-Oriented Enough

The Silverton police officer who shot and killed an Irish citizen while responding to a burglary complaint last month has been jailed on accusations he sexually abused a girl, Marion County authorities said.

Another "Only One" with the dating etiquette dilemma: when you take her out to dinner, do you buy her a Big Kid's Meal or a Happy Meal?

[Via Zachary G]

We're the Only Ones "24" Enough

Brevard County Sheriff's officers said they are shocked, disgusted and outraged at a former co-worker.

According to police, Carl Graves, 45, a former deputy, is in jail on rape charges, WESH 2 News reported.

Graves is accused of the repeated rape of a 13-year-old girl...

Investigators said he raped the girl 24 times last year, while he was still serving as a deputy.

So did he buy her a Happy Meal or a Big Kids' Meal on their dates?

I'd say it reminds me of the old joke "What goes into 13 twice?" but this "Only One has apparently come up with a whole new equation.

We're the Only Ones "Bratz" Enough

A Starr County grand jury has indicted the police chief of the small South Texas town of La Grulla on a charge of soliciting sex from a minor.

And again with the age-old question: On the date, would you buy her a Big Kids Meal or a Happy Meal?

If you were an "Only One," which would you choose?

An Only Ones in Love Trifecta

We're the Only Ones Chatty Enough

Authorities say an Ocala police veteran was charged with trying to solicit a 14-year-old girl over the Internet and sending her offensive material.

The burning question--if she'd gone out with him, would he have bought her a Happy Meal or a Big Kids Meal?

[Via Wm H]

We're the Only Ones Digital Enough

While en route to the police station, Torres began a sexually frank discussion with the woman, the charging papers state. Torres allegedly took the woman to a Federal Way weigh station and parked his patrol car. He told her he had previously had sex there with other women he had arrested and then proceeded to fondle her breasts and raped her with his finger, according to the charging papers.

I've heard of fingering a suspect, but this is ridiculous.

We're the Only Ones Getting a Grip Enough

The two women said they hesitatingly complied, and performed oral sex on their male companions for about 15 minutes, police reported...The 25-year-old said she asked to step out of the vehicle to urinate. The officer allegedly shined a flashlight on her as she did so and she said she noticed he was masturbating.

And here he was thinking he'd get off easy...

[More from "The Only Ones" files...]

We're the Only Ones Young and In Love Enough

A U.S. Capitol Police sergeant has been charged with child sexual abuse after allegedly having videotaped sex at his home with a 15-year-old girl that authorities believe was arranged by a former Bowie High School assistant football coach.

That poses quite a dilemma. I mean, if you take her to dinner afterwards, do you buy her a Happy Meal or a Big Kids Meal?

[More from "The Only Ones" files...]

[Via K Romulus]

We're the Only Ones "Be Prepared!" Enough

Dozens of Teenage Boy Scout Explorers Have Been Sexually Abused by Cops...[More]

Forget that bit about "morally straight"--and as for "law"...Trustworthy: not on your life; Loyal: Hah; Helpful: to ourselves; Friendly: in a way; Courteous: if by that you mean catching flies with honey; Kind: Happy Meal's on me; Obedient: yes, you will be; Cheerful: you bet; Thrifty: hey, it's cheaper than real dating; Brave: it's useful if they think that; Clean: that should wash off; and Reverent: Oh God, YESSS!

Hey, if they pervert this oath, why wouldn't we expect them to befoul all others?

[Via mahalo]

We're the Only Ones Meaty Enough

It is alleged that Deputies Joseph Cantwell and Phillip Barnett forced inmate Todd Triplett to place his penis on a sandwich before it was fed to an unsuspecting inmate...[More]

A Happy Meal, "Only Ones"-style...?

[Via Ken F]

Tales of the TSA

See, we need a "No Guns" list just like the "No Fly" list. [Read]

And afterward, we can all go out with or dates for a Happy Meal. [Read]

[Via Ed M and William T]

If Wishes Were Fishes We'd All Cast Nets

Responsible Americans don't gamble the survival of the USA on some happy-meal, wish-upon-a-star theory that those overwhelming percentages will somehow magically reverse themselves if only Republicans "reach out" better ... What kind of delusional a-wipes bet not only their entire farm but YOURS and all their fellow citizens' entire farms on that sort of fairy tale thinking? [More]

This comment under yesterday's GRE column is an important standalone piece worthy of attention and sharing, as are so many of frequent comment poster Carlos Perdue's other observations. I wish he'd start a blog or some such so his posts would get more exposure instead of being buried in discussion threads.

Not to Put Too Fine a Point On It, But...

Is this a joke? Another NSSF happy meal for chumps. Kevin McCarthy was Ryan & Boehner’s waterboy, a streetwalker for the “US” Chamber, “cheap labor” & 1-way “free trade”, all of which are destroying gun rights. And he’s coup collaborator. When will conservatives and gun owners WAKE UP? [More]

Pretty much.

Wish I had time to see what their NumbersUSA scores are -- not that any of our "gun rights leaders" acknowledge that having anything to do with that "single issue"...

I'm Lovin' It

SF supervisors pass 'Happy Meal' regulations

Law would require offerings be healthier if they include a toy for children [More]

What...?

We're the Only Ones Highly Motivated Enough

A Camden County police detective is accused of sexually assaulting a juvenile girl who allegedly had his child...the department described Martinez as "a highly motivated officer with a positive attitude who truly loves his job." [More]

So Happy Meal, right...?

[Via Jess]

Brady McDonald’s Analogy More Evidence of Desperate Gun-Grabber Lies

Just as first-time gun owners are finding out they can’t just “buy a gun online” and they’re not easier to get than “books” and “vegetables,” all state and federal infringements that the gun-grabbers have insisted on still apply. [More]

These people are more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Imagine My Dismay!

Yesterday I treated my granddaughter to a Happy Meal from McDonald's. Imagine my dismay when the toy for my young child was a gun!

Horrors! If that's not enough to soak the old knickers, I don't know what is.

In reality, I suspect this is either something the local manager did on his own without authorization--or perhaps even BS that the paper never checked out before printing. McDonald's is a politically correct corporation, and their current promotional toys are themed on "American Idol"--without a gun in the bunch.

Meanwhile, Across the Pond in Piers Morgan Paradise...

Police constable is one of 16 Muslim men arrested over historic child gang-rape/sex trafficking dating back to 2006 [More]

I'd ask what the equivalent of a Happy Meal is over there, but then realized it'd also probably have to be Halal...

[Via Michael G]

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving – we’re having our traditional house full with a twist—our oven crapped out, the store warehouse screwed up delivery of the replacement and the installers now can’t make it ‘til Friday. I ordered a cooked meal with all the trimmings from the local supermarket, meaning I need to reheat the turkey on my barbecue grill in @25° weather.

It’ll give me an excuse to light a cigar and pour a couple fingers of the good stuff.

We're the Only Ones Who Luv You Enough

A Fordland reserve police officer has been suspended from duty after being charged with forcible rape of a 14-year-old girl...

She said the first time the two had sex was after they had been out to dinner. Thompson ripped her T-shirt off and later kept her clothes, the statement said, sending her home in other clothes.

A romantic dinner for two, "Only Ones" style...

The burning question: Happy or Big Kids' Meal?

[Via KABA Newslinks]