There's Something About Oakland

In the last five years, 557 people were slain on the city's streets, making Oakland the state's second-most murderous city, behind Compton.

Man, I just don't get it.

First off, Oakland is under the protection of ethical giants like Capt. David A. Kozicki.

Second, Arnhole's Kollie-for-n'yah has an A- grade from the Bradys.

Maybe that quantum connection is at work here, and it's the fault of Pennsylvania's rural gun owners...? Because otherwise, we might have to notice that embarrassingly conspicuous elephant. Either that or read a m*****f*****' book...